trigger warning, pure angst, hurt, fourth year, suicidal thoughts, unsuccessful suicide attempt, depression, unhealthy coping mechanism
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Draco stared out in the night sky blankly, heart empty of any emotions. In his tight fist was a bottle of anti-depressants he had from a Mind-Healer his mother sent him. "Based on our observation on Young Mr Malfoy for the past few days, your son has severe depression, Mrs Malfoy. The amount of pressure he was under, coming from both your husband and his former boyfriend, it is understandable that he would more than just slightly distraught," Healer Gellagar had said back then when he tried to off himself in his room.
"Your father was there, Draco! Standing right there amongst the Death Eaters! He stood there and laughed! He did nothing to help both Cedric and me to escape!" Harry had shouted at him in rage, eyes red because of the tears. "He did nothing to help! I can't believe you kept something like this from me! You have the audacity to say it that you love me when all you did was looking at me in the eye and lied!"
"I didn't know, Harry! Please! I swear," Draco sobbed, desperately begging for Harry to believe him. "I do love you! I didn't know Father was there! I knew he was excited about something but both of them didn't tell me anything!"
"Harry, please! Harry... Harry! HARRY!"
His eyes teared up at the memory, streaming down his face as he looked at the bottle of Muggle medication. "Eat this according to the prescription, alright? Please don't try to eat any more than that or you'll overdose," she reminded.
Overdosed, he echoed dazedly as he uncapped the bottle and tipped it in his mouth, swallowing as many pills as he could, tears nonstop. If by overdosed means that I won't be suffering this much pain anymore, I'll do it, he added.
He placed the bottle down as he laid on his side, stifling his sobs behind his hand. "I love you, Harry," he whispered brokenly. "I always have. I'm sorry I betrayed you. It's my fault," he choked, closing his eyes as he felt the pills started working. He remembered how the girl Weasley was comforting Harry, how close they sat next to each other.
They look good together, was his last thought before it all turned dark.
•
Harry's head shot up from the essay parchment he was bent over. His heart was beating quickly and his hands started to sweat nervously. He could feel something wrong but he couldn't pinpoint what it was. Hermione and Ron looked up at the sudden movement with a confused look. "Harry? Are you alright?" she asked with concern.
Rubbing his chest, trying to soothe his heart, he looked at them with a troubled look. "I-I don't know. I suddenly feel this sharp queasiness in my chest and I'm not sure where it came from. It's like something is very wrong," he replied. His eyes looked around, trying to find the source of uneasiness but everyone looked fine and seemed to be doing quite alright. So why? he wondered.
Then he felt the urge to take out his map and Draco came to his thought.
Panic shot through him and he knew now something was very wrong with Draco. He ran towards the dorm and ruffled to find the map at the bottom of his trunk. He opened the map with shaky hands, waving his wand over the map. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."
When the map showed, his eyes were looking frantically all over the place, trying to find his ex-boyfriend's name. "Please, please. Where is he?" he whispered, heart clenching. Then he found the name at– "Astronomy Tower? What is he doing there?"
