Numb ---- Suicidal Todoroki x Bakugo----[BOOK 1]

30 - Frustration

Todoroki's POV:

I grabbed the blade and held it to my arm, a sense of deja vu coming over me. I pressed the blade down and sliced across my arm quickly. Thick, dark blood ran down my arm slowly. My hands began to shake a bit and tears filled my eyes. I blinked them away and sighed with relief.

It burns

But I don't care

I closed my eyes and began slicing my arm blindly. I didn't care about the damage I caused. It was better than whatever I was feeling.

Numb

But also angry

and sad

and anxious

and confused

and suicidal

and scattered

but overall

just numb

It's like I feel nothing and everything all at once

and I hate it

I pressed the blade down harder and the cuts began to overlap.

Pain is better

Better than this

I could feel the blood drip down my arm to the floor. The blade slipped out of my hand, which was shaking worse now. I opened my eyes and looked at my arm, completely shredded. Cuts overlapped, varying in size and depth. My recklessness showed. Blood poured down my arm and to the floor.

I'll clean the floor later.

I grabbed a towel and pressed it to my arm for a few minutes. The bleeding didn't stop.

Keeping the towel in it's place, I opened the cabinet and grabbed some bandages and gauze pads.

I removed the towel, which was now soaked in blood, and taped several layers of gauze pads onto my forearm. I wrapped it multiple times with the bandage wrap and prayed it wouldn't bleed through.

I tried to wash the blood from off my hands but it wouldn't come off, and the thickness of the bandages was visible under my sleeve.

This won't work

I need a big sweatshirt or something

I went to my closet and grabbed a black sweatshirt that would cover my hand and was baggy enough to not show the bandages.

I should go to Bakugo's room now

Don't want to seem suspicious

I'll just make sure he doesn't grab my arm

So he won't feel the outline of my bandages

Midoriya will be my alibi

I left my room and walked over to Bakugo's room, walking inside casually. He was laying on his bed, scrolling through his phone. I sat next to him and did the same.

"What'd that nerd want?"

"Training notes like always. Why?"

"Just wondering."

"Oh."

My phone buzzed loudly.

[1 message from 'Bastard']

I ignored it.

A few minutes passed and it buzzed again.

And again.