Numb ---- Suicidal Todoroki x Bakugo----[BOOK 1]

61 - The comfort of home

Todoroki's POV:

I arrived at the gym, empty as usual, and instinctly headed to the punching bags.

Bakugo said no punching bags

But I won't over do it

I took bandages out of my bag.

I'll even wrap up my hands to protect them

I began punching at the bag quickly, but didn't seem to have as much energy as usual.

I punched it again, this time harder, but it moved a lot less than it normally does.

I guess I'm not really into it

I collapsed into a sitting position on the floor, unwrapping my hands.

I'm not angry

How could I be angry?

He's everything I could ever ask for

Why am I feeling this way?

Why am I so scared of him leaving?

I've gotten too comfortable around him

I've spent my whole life isolated

And now that I have someone

I can't accept it?

Isn't this all I've wanted?

Him?

Why is this just now hitting me?

We've been together for-

What?

No

We're not together

That's weird

Take it back

My thoughts were racing and I couldn't make it stop. I couldn't make sense of any of this. I became immediately overwhelmed by my own mind and began to panic.

Stop shut up

You're gonna drive him away

That's all in your head

Your mother left

Why shouldn't he

He'll just end up manipulating you because you're weak

You're dependent on him

He could use you so easily

But he's not

Why?

Can't he just get it over with

It's killing me

Hurt me already

Leave if you're gonna leave

Why won't he just leave now

He's going to eventually

He doesn't need me

Why won't he leave

If he didn't care

Then I wouldn't have to stay

If have nothing to truly stay for

I don't know what's better or worse

But I know he'll leave

He's probably thinking about it