Numb ---- Suicidal Todoroki x Bakugo----[BOOK 1]

35 - In the End

Todoroki's POV:

We sat there for a few minutes, not quite sure where to go from here. My collar was wrinkled and my hands were shaking, but I didn't really care.

I shrugged at his comment and looked down, not really knowing what else to say or do.

I know he cares...

But that doesn't change how I view myself

"I'm sorry." I muttered under my breath.

"For what?"

"I..."

What was I sorry for?

Shit I don't even know...

"I don't know.... nevermind.... sorry...."

"Stop apologizing damnit...."

"Sorry, it's a habit."

"Yeah I know, now shut up with it."

"Sor..." I stopped myself. "Yeah okay."

He sighed, laughing a bit under his breath.

"What?"

"Nothing it's just..." He smiled, but quickly returned to his usual expression. "Nevermind."

"Whatever." I muttered, shrugging slightly. "So again, are we gonna talk about stuff like that?"

"What stuff?"

"You know... just everything... specifically like five minutes ago."

"Well we can talk about it now." He shrugged.

Shit nevermind

I hate confrontation

Why did I even bring it up

"Ok."

What do you mean 'ok'?!?!

"I just want to talk about.... I dunno.... just us I guess."

"Okay, so? What do you want to know?"

"I don't know, it's just confusing that's all. I'm not good with this stuff.... I'm sorry...."

"That's because you've never been allowed to just... have emotions. You don't have to apologize, it's not your fault."

"What do you mean?"

"You've never been allowed to express anything, have you?"

"I...."

A series of flashbacks ran through my mind.

Don't cry, you'll look weak

Don't tell yell at him, he'll hit you

Don't stutter, you'll sound awkward

Don't talk, you'll say something wrong

Don't ask for help, you'll look like an idiot

Don't complain, you'll sound ungrateful

Don't reach out, you'll be a burden

Don't skip training, you'll fall behind

Don't eat lunch, you'll be slower

Don't sleep, you have work to do

Don't tell them how you feel, they don't care

You're not important