Numb ---- Suicidal Todoroki x Bakugo----[BOOK 1]

43 - Concern

Bakugo's POV:

We left the hospital, Aizawa practically having to drag me out of there, and headed back to the dorms. We parked in the parking lot.

"Okay, Midoriya you can go inside. Bakugo, you stay. I wanna talk to you."

"Tch, this is bullshit." I acted annoyed, but I was still panicking internally.

I shouldn't be here

I should be back at the hospital

Deku left and walked inside the dorms. There was a few seconds of awkward silence. I maintained my annoyed facade.

"I know you're stressed, so if you'd rather not deal with questions from your classmates right now, I understand."

"Yeah."

He put the car in drive.

"I'll take you to the teacher dorms and you can rest there okay?"

"Whatever." I said, still sounding angry and annoyed. I didn't know how to channel or communicate any other emotion, so I just focused my energy on my facade and demeanor.

"Bakugo, you don't have to do that."

"Do what?"

"Act disrespectful because you think it covers up what you're really thinking and feeling. I see through that, I always have. It's okay, drop the act. It doesn't make you weak to have feelings."

"Crying is weakness."

"Crying is human."

I rolled my eyes and looked away, mainly because my eyes were tearing up and I didn't want him to notice.

"Bakugo, caring about a friend doesn't make you weak."

"Not being able to help him does."

He paused for a moment, almost like a moment of realization.

"You can't blame yourself for his actions."

"But if I had been there for him..... If I-"

"You were the only one there for him Bakugo. Not the only one willing to be of course, but you're the only person he trusted enough to confide in. You were the only one he'd talk to, the only one he'd let see him cry, the only one he willingly opened up to, and frankly all he has right now. I got a call from his supposed therapist today, saying he hasn't been showing up. Clearly he hasn't been going home. He hasn't come to school. He's been with you because he trusted you. Because he knew that you were there for him. And you were."

"But he.... he's-"

"Alive right now, in the hospital, getting treated, because you made the call for help. If it weren't for you, we'd be having this discussion over his grave."

"But I.... I....."

"No. You can't blame yourself. You're the reason he's alive Bakugo. How can you say that this is your fault?"

"I wasn't there to stop him in the first place...."

"You were recovering from a seizure Bakugo, no one can blame you for not being awake after midnight."

"But I should've made sure he fell asleep before me..."

"Bakugo stop. You were there to help him the instant you knew that he needed help, and that's a good friend."

I looked down.

"Don't be so hard on yourself kid. You don't deserve it."

"I'm not hard on myself, I just point out my obvious weaknesses that I need to work on."