Numb ---- Suicidal Todoroki x Bakugo----[BOOK 1]

28 - Revelation

Todoroki's POV:

Eventually we left the junkyard and headed back to the dorms. I laid in bed the rest of the day. Bakugo never bothered me, or try to force me to eat dinner. I'm not even sure if he had dinner himself.  He just stayed in the room with me, probably making sure I was still okay.

Now it was past midnight, probably close to 3 in the morning. Bakugo was asleep next to me, but I couldn't bring myself to fall asleep. Various things were running through my head as usual, but mainly two specific incidents.

What Endeavor said....

Versus what Bakugo said....

Endeavor's taught me everything I know

Everything I hate about myself

Are things he's told me I should hate

He taught me my weaknesses...

My flaws...

Everything...

But Bakugo's helped me...

A lot...

I should trust him more...

But the things Endeavor says make a lot of sense....

He's right about me...

Bakugo probably wants to be right...

I want him to be right...

But he's not

I'm sure he knows that too

The source of all my problems is me

So who else would be at fault?

I hate that Endeavor's an asshole

I hate that he beats me up all the time...

But he has reason to

I mean look at me...

I'm pathetic...

I'm sure Bakugo knows that too...

Just because he's nice to me doesn't mean he doesn't see me for what I really am...

He knows I'm a fuck up...

I'm sure he does...

Why else would he make me stay in his room?

It's not because he enjoys my company

It's just to make sure I don't fuck up again

He doesn't actually like me

He just doesn't want to feel responsible if I do fuck up

He doesn't want my blood on his hands...

I sighed, sitting up carefully so I didn't wake him up. I checked the time.

3:45 am

No one should be awake right now...

No one should notice...

I stood up and tiptoed towards the door, opening it hesitantly. I looked back at Bakugo to make sure he was still asleep, then closed it gently behind me. I walked quietly through the dorms and down to the kitchen, finding my way to the knife block in the dark. I removed a regular sized knife and rolled up my sleeve, sitting on the tile floor in case anyone came in. I leaned against the kitchen island and held the knife to my upper wrist, applying pressure to my skin.