"I'm so screwed..." a Tom Holland x reader story

~31~

We really had difficulties to have a baby. It's some several months and still nothing. Tom wasn't losing hope but I was beginning to lose it. Until one day...

We were in December and I didn't have my period so I asked Elizabeth to buy a test and to come. She came and I was glad Tom wasn't there, I didn't want him to be disappointed again.

-Ok Y/N, you're ready ?

-Not really. Can you look at it ?

She took the test and her eyes widened.

-What ? What does it say ?

-Finally... Y/N, you're pregnant.

-Are you sure ?

-Yes ! Look at it !

She showed me the test and she said the truth, there were two pink lines. I began to cry and we hugged. I decided not to tell Tom before the weeks that were not sure. I didn't want him to be heartbroken if it was not real or if something went wrong. I was wondering how I would be able to say nothing to him but I have to !

Three weeks later :

In two days, it was Christmas Eve and I decided that Tom's gift would reveal my pregnancy. He suspected something because I was sick but I said it was just a cold. He was now on a week end with Harrison and his brothers to golf and he will come back tomorrow morning.

Elizabeth stayed at our house during the time he wasn't there. She wanted to be there just in case something happened.

I was preparing the announcement when I felt a huge pain in my stomach.

-Y/N where does this blood come from ?!

-We have to go to the hospital. Now.

She grabbed our coats and she drove like crazy to go there. They took me to a room and they did some medical exams. We waited for the results for what felt like hours until the doctor came in the room they put me in. I had a bad feeling, it is not good.

-Mrs. Holland ?

-Yes it is me.

-We have your results.

-Tell me my baby is ok. I am supposed to tell the father in two days.

-You had a miscarriage. I am so sorry.

I didn't listen anymore. Waw... Is it real again ? The doctors left the room and Eli began to cry. I wanted to cry but I just felt empty. I was just wondering why it was happening to me ?

-Can I do something for you ?

-Don't tell anyone. Nobody can know. Even Tom he will be heartbroken if he knows and I don't want to.

-I don't think this is a good idea, he has the right to know Y/N. And I am sure he would help you in this difficult moment of your life.

-I can't tell him. He will be heartbroken. He doesn't deserve to feel like that.

-And you do maybe ?

-Please Eli...

-Ok... Something else ?

-Go home and hide all the things I prepared to tell Tom. And call him to say I fainted and that I will be at hospital for the day. You really are the best, thank you so much.

She nodded and did all that, she called me to say she took the gift with her so she was sure Tom wouldn't find it and that he would arrive some minutes later from his weekend. Tom came earlier because he was worried. When I saw him I felt so bad. He did everything for me and I can't give him the one thing he wants. I couldn't even look at him in the eyes. I just told him I was tired and needed time so he wouldn't ask me any question.

When we came home, he once again did everything to help me but all I wanted to do is to hide myself, all of this was my fault.

-Tom, can we talk ?

-Yes my love what is it ?

-I wanted to know if you would agree. I want to see a doctor.

-Of course but why ?

-To see if I am able to have kids.

He nodded and phoned to a private doctor. He said he was free for the moment so we could go the next week. We would go and hide, I didn't want news to know I had difficulties to make our dreams come true.

The next week :

We went to the doctor and I felt really nervous. I first had to go alone so he could do the medical exams. I had to say the truth to him.

-I had a miscarriage a week ago. And it has been some months that we are trying. Is something wrong with me ?

-We are trying to find out Mrs. I swear we will. Actually I can tell you now. I will go to search Mr. Holland.

-Please don't tell him. He will be heartbroken.

He nodded and Tom came back in the room. He sat beside me and took my hand. For once, the only thing I felt is that I didn't deserve to hold his hand but I stayed like this anyway.

-Ok so you told me you had a car crash two years ago. It did some damage in your uterus but nothing that can block for a pregnancy. It will work but I just think it will take more time than a woman that has everything ok.

We talked a bit more and went in the car. It was silent the way home but when we arrived, I felt overwhelmed. I went to hug Tom that was on the sofa and I cried. Even if he didn't know the true reason of the tears he holds me like a baby and tried to comfort me.

-Sshhh. Everything is fine love. It will work don't worry. We will do it. Even if it takes years, we will succeed, okay ? I love you so much.

I nodded and I cried for an hour just there in his arms.

Words count : 1017