"I'm so screwed..." a Tom Holland x reader story

~32~

Some months have passed and I felt worse every day. Tom and I were fighting more and it became difficult between us. I didn't tell him about the miscarriage and I felt worse every day about it too.

We were now in April and we still had nothing. I began to sleep on the spare room because we wouldn't cuddle anymore and it was hurting more. We barely talked and we worked a lot. The only moment when we could feel that we loved each other was when we were having sex to try again and again.

One day it was an even bigger fight.

-Are you going to sleep on the spare room again ?

-Yes, if you are okay with it.

-No I am not okay with this Y/N ! For fuck's sake we are married ! What is happening to us ?

-Nothing Tom I just need time.

-Do you remember that we are two on this story. You are not alone so now tell me what is wrong.

-Leave me alone ! I said there was nothing. Can't you understand that ?!

-I am tired of this situation. I know you are hiding something and it makes me sick that you don't trust me enough to tell me ! And where are you going now ?!

-I will stay at my dad's for the moment. Apparently you can't understand that sometimes people need time so I will have it at another place.

-If you go, I swear...

-You swear what ?! You are the one overreacting here. You won't understand my point of view. I think we need a break from each other.

I slammed the door and went in the car. I screamed as much as I could and stayed without moving for at least an hour. I went to my dad and didn't bother telling Tom I arrived like I use to do when I take the car since the accident.

We didn't text each other for days. Maybe it was the end of Y/N and Tom after all. Until one day I saw I had plenty missed calls from Tom. I called him and he asked if you could talk, so I said yes and that I would be there in less than an hour. I left a note to dad saying I would call him later. I was going to start the car when I received a message from Elizabeth.

Elizabeth : I am so sorry Y/N.

Me : I am confused right now...  What are you talking about ?

Elizabeth : Tom was really sad about the situation between you two and I told him about the miscarriage. I understand if you are mad at me but he has the right to know why you are feeling like this.

Me : I am not mad at you... You just did what I was too afraid to do. I have to go to talk to him.

I drove there and opened the door. He saw me and went in the sofa, waiting so we could talk. He didn't kiss me to say hello, he really was mad.

-Did you plan on telling me one day ?

-No.

-Can I know why ?

-You didn't deserve to feel this. I didn't want you to feel heartbroken.

-And so I don't deserve but you do ?

-You did everything for me, I couldn't give you the single thing you wanted too.

-I can't even imagine how you felt.

-I'm so sorry.

I began to cry and I stood to take some tissues, I came back on the sofa and he continued.

-Sorry doesn't cut it.

-I know. I can understand how mad you are at me. I should have told you as soon as I knew.

-You really think I am mad because you didn't tell me ? I am mad because you thought that my mental health was more important than yours. I could have help you through this ! But you decided to do all that alone so I would feel fine. Why ?

-Because I love you !

-And I love you too. It seems like you forgot that a marriage is for the worst and the best. Do you still want to have a baby with me ?

-Of course I want to Tom. It was really difficult for me but I still want our chaos. But like you said we are two even if I forgot it a lot recently. Do you still want to have a baby with me ?

-I don't know.

-Oh... I see...

-Let me some time, I have to think about it.

-Ok. I will go and let you think so.

-No you stay here, I will go to the hotel. That is my decision to take.

I said nothing and he went to prepare his bag. I didn't want him to go, I had to fix this situation that I made. When he came back, he searched for his key and I stood. I walked and grabbed his arm.

-Please Tom... Don't go...

-I am sorry Y/N. I love you, more than anything.

-I love you too please stay.

I began to sob like I never did. He took my cheeks in his hands and he kissed me. I could feel on my face that he was crying too.  He stopped and caresses my cheek.

-Goodbye Y/N.

He went out and I heard his car starting. I watched by the window and when he began to drive, he was also looking in my direction. When I lost view of the car, I decided to change into comfy clothes so I went in our room. It already felt so empty... I took one of his sweaters and it smelled like him.

I went in the bathroom and I looked at myself in the mirror. I really was a mess... I tried to fix it but I couldn't stop crying. I ruined the most important thing I had in my life and I couldn't do anything about it. I turned another light and something caught my attention. I looked at it and my heart broke even more. It was Tom's wedding ring. There was a not with it.

"I promise it is just temporary. I love you. Tom."

Words count : 1054