Everything Random Ever

hi again

it's been a minute, hasn't it? kinda fell of the face of wattpad, as i seem to do very often. i'm really good at it!

anyway. i'm here to scream my screams into the void once again, mostly so i can feel slightly valid in my frustrations which i believe have no right to be frustrations.

i have until november 1st to finish my college apps. i have the general shit done, barring my extra curricular a bc that scares me and i need help bs-ing that. i also need to write my general common app essay *screech* as well as at least 2, maybe 3 others because they're only going to help me not hurt me.

it's weird though, i'm like... actually a senior now. bc i'm in school and i've started classes and whatnot.

gender crisis continues to be an ongoing thing, though much more muted than it was in the summer. i think im reaching the point where i'm all but out to myself if that makes sense?? i know i feel kind of upset when referred to as a girl in terms of gender, and i was discouraged when there was no option aside from m/f when filling out my taxes form the other day.

but that's a topic for another day, as my crisis on sexual orientation also continues on. am i a fake gay?

anyway

this was my shout into the dark, i don't talk about this stuff with people but putting it here and posting it is lowkey therapeutic even when no one reads it.

have a good night y'all