Always Okay | (Adopted By Elizabeth Olsen)

Chapter 10

Word Count: 3836

Alexis's POV

I woke up in the morning, the actual morning, not three AM but rather a normal-ish time, well a time that was close to when Lizzie would usually come to get me up. It didn't take long for me to notice that I was still wrapped in Lizzie's embrace. I looked over at her peaceful state as a small smile spread across my face. I felt safe, no that's not right how could I feel safe with her still. Well maybe, she is safe but I still don't trust her words. I can't trust them, no matter what she says there will always be a ticking clock in the back of my head reminding me of that day.

As my thoughts continued to swirl, I did my best to not move or squirm around much. I didn't want to wake Lizzie and I was utterly terrified of what she will say when she woke up. I mean surely she'd be mad for me screaming last night, I was too loud. Way too loud and that means the neighbors could have heard, which would cause problems. But regardless of what could happen all I could think about was my nightmare from last night. The stained tile floor now wore a reddish hue but when I was back there Josh was dead and Lizzie laid next to him also dead. Their blood was on my hands, soaking through my shirt and tainting my soul forever. I just wanted someone to tell me it wasn't real and hold me tight until I was calm. When my mom came down the steps, I remember feeling hopeful, I ran to her arms, but she was quick to wrap me in a headlock, pressing her arm tightly around my neck restricting my breathing in the process.  She pushed me back towards my bed and latched the metal handcuffs around my wrists attaching them to the dainty bedframe. Mom spat in my face telling me I was a monster and all I could do was cry sappy, weak tears. Then as if it couldn't get worse, this man who I couldn't identify but I knew was bad news came down the stairs. I couldn't seem to place him in my life but he was constantly in my nightmares just the sight of him made me cry harder. I know it was a weak response but what can you do as your mom holds you down and a strange man comes down the steps. He started to approach my bed as my heartbeat sped up even more if that was possible.

I don't exactly remember what happened next but the next thing I knew I was wrapped in Lizzie's embrace. She was whispering in my ear and rocking us back and forth. She was being nice and gentle and for some reason, I didn't feel the need to kick her butt. My never wavering instinct of beating people who laid an unfamiliar hand on me had disappeared when she held me last night. I liked it but I don't think I can trust it. I need to be more careful next time, I can't risk getting stuck in another basement or worse shipped off to live somewhere else.

I felt the woman next to me shift in the bed and I instantly closed my eyes trying to pretend I was asleep, but upon hearing her voice I was sure she already knew. "You don't have to pretend to sleep, I know you've been awake for a while."

"Hmn" I hummed back trying to keep my act up.

"Lex, you don't need to pretend, I don't care if you've been up. I just hope you got some good sleep last night," Lizzie said adjusting me her arms so that I was now facing her.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said avoiding eye contact with her.

"You're so cute," she laughed moving her head towards mine. The instant her lips collided with my head I felt my whole body tense. I didn't need to see her face to know concern was written all over it.

"I'm sorry," was all I could manage.

"No, it's my fault," Lizzie insisted, but it wasn't. It was mine, I'm the one who reacted poorly to her gentle gesture. But I couldn't help it, I can't tell if people are good or bad anymore. I used to think I was a good person but now, especially after that dream, I know I'm not a good person. I might have not killed Josh but I wish I did and that makes me bad. Only the bad people, the villains kill people.