Her realization was, yes. She could indeed imagine building a relationship with him.
It would just be different and that was a good thing because she never wanted to compare Dean to her ex, which was impossible anyway because Dean was the complete opposite. Bold, willing to take risks, self-sacrificing and, yet, he had a soft spot. While Andy was more a creature of habit and was not the romantic kind of guy, yet, she loved him because he would have done anything for her. That was probably the only thing that connected the two men, although with Dean it probably went beyond death.
"I'd haunt him if I were a ghost", Dean joked, but he didn't sound as amused as he tried to pretend.
Josie's heart stung at his tone of voice and looked up at him. He took a halting breath and blinked away the tears that were bullying in his eye. His fears had become reality. He confessed his love for her, but Josie spurned them. A curse seemed to be resting on him, or so he thought.
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"Don't you dare start crying now, you know I can't bear it and I have to cry too", she murmured pleadingly, "Don't do this to us!"
The huntress felt as guilty as ever. Never before had she had to turn down someone, certainly not someone she was so close to. Dean had been through enough already, she didn't want to hurt him, but she also did not want to be dishonest with him. If she felt like she was ready to give it a try, she wanted to be one hundred percent on board and be able to love him the way he did and not have to live with a guilty conscience all the time. It was silly that she wanted to justify herself to a dead man, but in her line of work it was not impossible that one day she could meet Andy again. Then at least she wanted to have a clear conscience.
"I'm going to hit the hay", Dean interrupted coolly, returning to his usual emotionless facade.
He was very upset and all kinds of thoughts rushed through his brain. He felt like breaking something, cry, and shake Josie until she realized that there was no point in mourning someone who was already dead. Her job didn't offer much time to live in the past, any day could be her last, and it wasn't always certain if one would make it out alive.
"Good night", Josie replied, unsettled by Dean's sudden departure.
She watched him quietly as he lay down on the front bench of the Impala and spread a thin blanket over himself. Dean wasn't the least bit tired, though, and neither was Josie. They both just lay there, absorbed in their thoughts. The brunette thought about what would happen next.
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