To calm himself down he took a few breaths, left the shower and made his way to Josie's room dressed. He had already let her run away crying once, another time was too much.
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"Get out of here," she hissed at him from the bed as he carefully entered her room.
"I'm sorry, I can't control my anger at the moment, as you may have noticed. But I definitely don't mean it that way. I know I can't make you do it, and I don't want to, I love you too much for that," he spoke calmly, even though there was still anger inside him, "This situation is... I don't have the words to describe it, but I know I can get through it because I have you. I'm trying really hard to be strong, but the mark is affecting me, you can't imagine how much I hate myself for being the way I am"
She turned to him with teary eyes and wrapped the sheet around her, still naked, body. Stockingly she filled her lungs with air and released it just as stockingly.
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"I love you and hate you at the same time, and I loathe me too," she breathed through her tears as he sat unsteadily on the edge of the bed, "I don't want to hate you."
Carefully he reached out to her and wiped away her tears. Never in his life had he had to go through such emotional chaos. Countless times he saw friends and family die and didn't know where to put himself, but life went on. But at that moment, time seemed to stand still and the minutes were long and agonizing as he watched Josie break before his eyes. He had no idea what frustration she was carrying. She wanted to be with him, to love him sincerely, just couldn't do it even if she broke her vow. Somehow, something would always stand between them. First and foremost, Andy's ghost. They just seemed to be cursed.
"You have every reason to hate me," Dean whispered guiltily.
Stubbornly, Josie shook her head and straightened up, grabbing the Winchester's face and forcing him to look her in the watery eyes.
"I didn't at all! You are a wonderful person and you should not be hated. Rather, I should be hated for making that stupid promise to Andy"
"It's not a stupid promise," Dean admitted, "I wish for me someone would do something like that. You give up everything and he doesn't even know it"
