After the angel disappeared, Josie wanted to talk to Dean about what she had learned from the other slayer. Their first path led to the garage, from which came deafening music. Dean strained to scrub the Impala's rims clean so he wouldn't have to think. He didn't even notice Josie approaching. Unprompted, she turned off the radio and stopped a little distance in front of him. Inevitably, he looked up as the music faded.
"Hey," she said cautiously, leaning slightly against the Impala.
"Hey," he replied uncertainly, crumpling the sponge in his hand.
"She told me about... about what you did," Josie began, "But I'd like to hear your side of it, I know you remember!"
Saddened, Dean lowered his gaze to the chrome-plated rim that reflected his face. In his eyes, the face of a monster.
"What's the big deal, it's true what I did to her. I'm a psychopath and I deserve it," he muttered, avoiding Josie's sight.
"Deserve what?"
"For you to leave. I know I screwed up, there's just too much going on. And I can really understand. You're better off doing your thing on your own and not dealing with the scum that I am," he purred, sitting down on the floor.
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Exhausted, he leaned his head against the car and stared straight ahead at the opposite wall.
"Dean I'm not planning on leaving! It's true that a lot of things happened and I don't know if I can forget everything, but I can forgive," she assured him and walked up to sit next to him, "You just have to be able to forgive yourself"
"I can't. Have you ever looked in the mirror and hated what you saw? The things I did was me! The excuse that I was this fucking demon only because of Cain's mark doesn't count. It was always me, a monster, that mark on my arm only caused it to be released. I only left because I wanted to protect you and Sammy. You could have lived the way you wanted, free from me. All I ever did was get you two into this crap."
Gently, she reached for his arm and leaned her head against his shoulder.
"What if this had happened to Sam or me? Would you really have let us leave you behind so you could be free? Dean, I know you, you never would have given up on getting the one back and if it had been your death. And yes I know what you've done and even if you deny it, it's only been one side of you that's done it all. But I told you before, you also have a good side and it is so much bigger. You not only saved my life once and pulled me out of the mess I got myself into. You raised Sam almost single-handedly and look at what he's become, that's to your credit, don't you think that's something to be proud of?"
She looked up at him with a comforting smile, but he didn't reply, just gave her a kiss on the forehead with quivering lips. Dean couldn't quite understand it. She just sat there next to him and was still with him, despite everything he had done to her, and to other woman. He didn't deserve that. She should hate him as much as he hated himself.
"I realize you're blaming yourself for Tony, and it's not like I wasn't shocked to hear that you've basically made a copy of me. But you can thank Cas."
"Cas?" Dean asked, looking at her in confusion.
"Yeah, your little guardian angel is actually responsible for me still being here. He made me see the bigger picture in all of this. Your dark side wanted to be loved, just like the good one became. And apparently I was the key to that. But since you couldn't have me, or didn't want me, you went looking for your own Josephine, but when the demon realized she wasn't me, you came back to. To the people who always love you, no matter what side of you, you are our Dean, we know you're messed up, we all are!"
Dean's heart was pounding erratically and cramped. With all his might he held back the tears, because if he started now he didn't know if he would ever be able to stop. Josie saw his pain and put an arm around him.
"It's okay," she whispered, stroking his hair as it did now burst out of the hunter, tears dripping from his cheeks onto Josie's collarbone.
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She felt the hot drops on her skin and just kept silent. Only the Winchester's soft sobs could be heard. He was just grateful that she was there for him and didn't let him down. Neither did Sam, who just entered the garage and caught sight of the two of them. Puzzled, he looked at Josie, unspokenly asking what had happened. She just smiled, however, and cuddled the pile of misery in her arms.
"We got him back," she breathed contentedly, resting her cheek against the crown of Dean's head.
A smile tugged at Sam's lips as well before he crouched down next to Dean and patted his shoulder brotherly.
"Well then, welcome back brother," he greeted him with relief, wrapping his arms around Dean and Josie right along with him.
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