Forelsket

Chapter 23

Elle

How can she gauge her feelings with just a kiss? Damn her and her hormones.

Gusto ko mang hatakin si Harrice palayo kay Leo ay mahigpit na naikuyom ko na lang ang mga kamao ko para mapigilan ang sarili ko. Kahit pa kating kati akong tanggalin yung kamay ni Leo na nakaakbay dito. Pati na yung mga braso nung babaeng iyon na nakalambitin sa leeg ng lalaking iyon na tila ba naglalambing pa para ibigay dito yung gusto nito.

Akala ko ba nagkaintindihan na kami? I didn't allow her to do that to anyone else. Malinaw na sinabi ko din na ayokong lumalapit sya o nagpapaakbay kahit kanino. But here she is, doing the exact thing I've asked her not to. Ito pa talaga yung dumidikit sa lalaking iyon.

So, is this really just hormones for her?

She's probably right. She's just seventeen. Her hormones might just be kickin' in. Baka nga iyon lang lahat ng ito para dito.

Just a libido. Lust. Hormones. An experiment.

Ganyan na ganyan din noon si Rainey. She goes on kissing anyone. Trying everything. She even took my first kiss. Experimented if that kiss she had with Ember is just the same with everyone else. She then concluded that it wasn't. She liked kissing Ember better than me.

But it wasn't that way to me.

After kissing Rainey I realized that all kisses are bland. Tasteless. Just a deed to do with someone to convince them that you're invested to them. An obligation. A responsibility.

But Harrice kisses weren't. When she kissed me back, I suddenly felt the urge to push her down. To kiss her better. To taste every inch of her. To mark her. To own her.

And that realization scared the shit out of me.

I want to do that right then and there when she pushed me down and put herself atop me. I want to explore my newly found interest that night. But I have to stop.

My Mom's words are ringing on my head. Harrice is just seventeen. A minor. No matter how much Harrice wants me back that night, she's still not on her legal age to give me consent just because of that momentary surge of emotions. Baka nadadala lang ito. Dalawa lang kami doon. Nakakadala lang yung lamig ng panggabing hangin. Madalas kami nagkakasama sa team. At natatakot ako na baka nga eksperimento lang lahat para dito.

I won't surrender myself to someone that's not even so sure of me. Masyado naman yata itong sinuswerte kung makukuha ako nito ng ganon-ganon lang.

And I was right all along. She admitted that it was just hormones for her. Gusto lang siguro nito na masubukan lahat dahil bago iyon dito.

I took a deep breath to stop myself from cussing when I heard Harrice's laugh echoed the whole room. As I glance back, I saw her now holding a cone of Vanilla ice cream.

Letse na yan. Ice cream lang pala ang nais. Batuhin ko sya ng isang tub dyan e.

Mas lalong dumiin yung pagkakakuyom ko ng kamay nang makita kong literal na napalunok si Leo habang pinagmamasdan si Harrice na kumakain ng Ice cream. Namumula yung pisngi nito na nag-iwas ng tingin dito. At siguradong sigurado ako na mamaya lang ay tatayo na ito at mag-eexcuse palayo para pumunta sa washroom.

It didn't took me long. Just half a minute, Leo stood up and almost run his way towards the comfort room.

Funny that Leo is now seeking for the comfort of that room. Tiyak na magtatagal iyon doon. Kapal ng mukha nitong pagnasahan si Harrice.

Gusto ko mang lapitan si Harrice ngayon habang wala itong kasama ay hindi ko magawa. Nanatili lang akong nakaupo dito. Nagpapanggap na busy sa ginagawa. Kahit ang totoo ay wala talaga akong ganang kumain.