Forelsket

Chapter 34

Harrice

Napapagod na tinturn-off ko yung phone ko. Hindi na naman ako makapagconcentrate sa ginagawa ko dahil sa sunod-sunod na tawag at text messages ni Elle.

Hindi talaga ito marunong makaintindi. Hindi pa ba malinaw dito yung gusto ko kahit paulit ulit ko lang naman na in-off yung phone ko kapag tumatawag ito? Hindi ko din naman nirereply-an yung mga text nito. Pero heto at nangungulit pa din sya. What's so hard to understand in that?

Iniiwasan ko sya. Ayoko makipag-usap o makipagkita. She should just take it and have the decency to draw her lines too.

I've lost.

Tiyak na wala na akong mukhang ihaharap sa pamilya ko pag binali ko yung palabra-de-honor namin matapos akong matalo sa Momma nito noong gabi ng party niyon.

I gave Elle's mother my word. I agreed that I won't be seeing Elle until I turn eighteen. I need to earn as much money as I can. I need to prove my worth.

I can clearly remember the way she said that Elle is just fascinated to me because I remind her of Ate Rainey. Ganitong ganito din daw kasi umakto si Ate Rainey noon. Walang gustong gawin sa buhay. Iresponsable. Walang plano. Nakaasa sa magulang. Nakaasa kay Elle. And Elle, being a born pleaser and protector, is triggering her strings because of my display of vulnerability.

Elle is fond of fancy things in life. She's molded to have only the best. Halata naman sa paraan ng pananamit at pag-aayos nito. Yung mga gamit na mamahalin. Yung mga piling pagkain na kinakain nito.

I've got no means to give it all to her yet.

Tita Louella is right. Elle is too much. I am only holding up her growth. I am just a baggage that's becoming a burdensome for her.

Naiiyak na dumiin yung kapit ko sa bag ko. I need to get my grip. Kasi kung hindi, baka panghinaan na naman ako ng loob at makagawa ng bagay na hindi nito gusto.

That night was my last straw. My last hope. I just want us to cross the line. That way, mapipilitan sila Mama na ipagkasundo na ako sa mga magulang nito. I just want her to be held liable for me. Childish, Oo. Pero that's the only hope I am seeing that time just to be with Elle.

Kaso gaya nga ng sabi ng Momma nito, Elle isn't the type that's being ruled by her impulses. She's weighing things before delving herself.

So I just left her. Sleeping in her room as I sneak out of their house.

Tita Louella saw me coming out of her daughter's room. Instead of making a scene, she just gave me a smirk. Para bang alam nito na hindi gagawa si Elle ng bagay na hindi nito magugustuhan. And heck! She even waved her hand while saying she'll be happy not to see me again. Ever.

"Harrice, hindi ka ba sasali sa Science fair? Hindi ko nakita yung pangalan mo sa mga nakalista."

Napalingon ako sa kasama ko sa Science Club. May tinatapos kasi kaming planning dahil kami yung magheheld ng activity pag natuloy yung Science fair.

Umiling ako dito. "No. I will be joining the national competition. I will be busy for the preparation in that. Kelangan ko maghanap ng mga sponsors kaya pass muna ako."

Halatang nagulat ang mga ito sa narinig. Why not? I have never joined a national competition before. And they don't have any idea that I am capable to do such.

"Sigurado ka?" tanong pa ni Ashton. Isa sa mga matagal ko ng kasama sa club mula pa nung unang pasok ko. "The College Science fair isn't giving you enough exposure yet. Baka mahirapan ka kapag sumalang ka agad sa national fair."