Odd-eyed Beauty // hwang minhyun (#27)

Fifty-two

Yeongwon

Hwang Minhyun is my first boyfriend and the first guy that I have developed feelings for and he is the one person that I would have my many first times with and I thought to myself that I am such a lucky girl to have a boyfriend even though I barely talk and everyone avoids me at school but I know that he likes me for who I am as a person and he doesn't want me to change ever.

We have only been dating each other for a while and we are taking things slow, casually holding hands and we don't even kiss that much because I would get so flustered and I don't even dare to tell him that I have the urge of kissing him every time he stares at me for more than 5 seconds, he will think that I am a weirdo for wanting to have skinship with him all the time. But it is okay for me to do that for me because we are going out with each other, and he wouldn't mind at all.

And I am so sorry for what I had said to him during lunch and I wished that I hadn't said it, I meant to say that it isn't a need for us to be waiting for each other and we need to have our personal space since we don't have the same interests and ambitions, there is no need to force ourselves to enjoy it when we don't have the interest in it and we are just going along with it because we don't want to ruin anything.

And I know that Minhyun is getting tired of picking me up from work all the time, I could see it in his eyes even though he has tried his hardest to hide it and I know that he is always forcing himself to wait for me. He sets an alarm 15 minutes before my show ends for him to freshen up and I wouldn't be mad if I see him trying to yawn. I have seen him sleep on the lounges in the lobby and he looked so tired and I feel so bad that he is always forcing himself to be there for me even though he is always so tired and he is only doing that because he wants to let me know that he is always supporting me and I get motivated from that.

This is what I wanted to say to him but I started with the wrong words and he somehow accepted it without asking me about it, he looked like he didn't mind at all but he is deeply hurt by my words and he doesn't want to talk about it. And I wanted to talk to him about it but he kept avoiding the question and he even waved at me with such a huge smile when he dropped me off earlier, I wanted to hug him and say that it is all my fault for making him so upset and I am being the idiot for smiling back at me and telling him that I am okay with pretending that it didn't exist.

But I wanted to talk this out with him or this tiny memory will be one of the very reasons why we will end our relationship sometime in the future snd It is something that I don't want to happen, I know that we are just dating each other and it is not like we are going to be engaged to each other, that is way too early for the two of us but I don't want the two of you to break up with each other when we are most not expecting it to happen.

I know that I am going to get grounded by my parents if they know that I sneaked out of the house after 10 pm so I sent a text to my younger brother who is usually good at keeping secrets and I want to keep this little secret of mine for once and I got out of the house by jumping out of the window and I ran to his place where he shares with his best friend, classmate and his roommate.

I don't know if he is asleep but I will wake him up just to tell him that I am sorry and I would want to let him hear that, he might not forgive me immediately but at least I want to let him know that I didn't have the intention of hurting his feelings and making him feel that it is not worth it at all. I arrived at his apartment and it is so quiet, Minhyun told me that Seongwoo is having dinner at his parent's place tonight and he is most likely staying overnight and he would only be returning home the next morning.

I knocked on his door for nearly a minute before he finally opened the door and he looks so dejected, he doesn't look sleepy so he isn't asleep. "Yeongwon..." He called out my name.

"Mind if I kiss you?" I pushed him into the apartment and onto a couch where I kissed the hell out of me, nothing is on my mind but his lips and I want to kiss those lips until I get tired of it but kissing him is like an addiction and I can't stop at all.

I am just so stupid for saying all of that to him when I know that he is not going to like it and I realized one thing, I can't live without him and that is a fact ever since I started dating him and I can't let go of him at all. I feel like I am going to love this guy till the day I die...

He pushed me away from me, trying to catch his breath and he looked at me like I am some weirdo. "What are you even doing?" He asked me.

"I am sorry for what I have said to you and I want to make it up to you, I shouldn't have said that to you at all." I burst into tears. "I don't want you to hate me."

"No one is hating you, there is no way that I will hate you." He stroked my head. "Why would I even hate you? You are just so adorable, I can't ever get tired of you at all."

I looked around the entire apartment. "Is there any chance that Ong Seongwoo will be back anytime?" He shrugged his shoulders and I kissed him once more. "I hope that he is not going to be back at all because I want to spend all of that time with you and I don't want anyone to disturb us."