Just Imagine...

Safe Haven

A/N: warning! This work contains mentions of suicide ideation/attempts. Reader discretion is strongly advised.

It was a relatively mild day, even with the clouds, but Ianto was shaking like it was the coldest day of the year.
Sam's heart was breaking, she felt close to tears and she wasn't even entirely sure why - the traumatic experience she'd just had, or how badly she felt for Ianto.
She had tentatively sat next to him on the back of the Torchwood SUV, wincing when she placed a gentle hand on his back and he'd let out a petrified and agonized gasp.
"Sorry." She'd muttered.
"I-it's ok-ay." Ianto choked in response, his voice shaking as hard as he was.
But that was just it - it wasn't okay. None of this was okay. They'd all just nearly been killed and eaten, and not by aliens, by other people.
"Just- please, just- stop!" Ianto gasped out, and Sam realized with a jolt that she'd said all of that out loud without thinking.
"I'm sorry," she repeated, "Ianto, I'm here. It's okay now, you're safe. I won't let anything happen to you."
  Anything more than what's already happened to you, at least. She thought, but didn't say.
Ianto had slowly, perhaps subconsciously, leaned into her embrace - only slightly, but enough for Sam to notice.
At least he trusted her. That was more than she deserved for her treatment of him when he first joined the team, but for some reason he trusted her anyway. Maybe taking the leap and reaching out to him after Lisa died had been a good idea after all. Not that Sam had doubted that, more that she'd doubted herself and her ability to actually be a good friend. Especially to someone like Ianto.
"I'm taking you home the minute Jack says we're done here." She murmured after a short silence had lapsed between them.
"Home?" Ianto echoed in a small voice.
"To my home," Sam said, "you're not in a good place right now, you need other people around you - and you'll need help cleaning yourself up."
Sam didn't want to look at the smears of blood and dirt on Ianto's face and clothes, didn't want to think about the injuries she probably couldn't see. He'd gotten the worst of all of them by letting Tosh escape. He was brave, but stupid.
Not too different from Sam herself, really.
Maybe that was why she felt such a strong need to protect him.
"You don't- you don't need to do that." Ianto mumbled, another tremor taking over his body momentarily.
"Yes I do," Sam replied fiercely, "Ianto, you're hurt. I'm not going to stand back at let you suffer. Not anymore."
Ianto let out a choked sob, crumpling a little further into Sam's shoulder.
Across the yard, Jack and Gwen stepped out of one of the old, run-down houses of the village, both looking a little shellshocked.
Gwen had wanted to speak with the father of the cannibal family - for God knows what fucking reason - and Jack had allowed it, but based on their faces, whatever that creep had said was pretty disturbing.
Jack caught Sam's eye as he stepped outside, his gaze darting from her, to Ianto, and back to her again. Then he gave a slight nod, which she returned.
He didn't have to say anything, Sam knew exactly what he meant - get Ianto out of here.
Thankfully Jack had allowed her to bring her own car on this mission, so it was easy enough to get Ianto into the back seat where he could lie down and finally get him away from that horrible place.
The drive back into Cardiff and back out again into the surrounding countryside felt longer than usual, and Sam almost found herself falling asleep at the wheel a few times - the only thing that kept her awake was the occasional soft whimpers from behind her.
Ianto was clearly in a lot of pain if he was openly vocalizing it. Or, maybe he just trusted her enough to let his vulnerability show in this moment. Either way, it kept the adrenaline pumping in her blood with every heartbeat, all the way home to her house, up the stairs with Ianto leaning heavily on her shoulder, and into the guest bathroom.
Ianto threw up while she ran the bath for him, the combination of pain and shock finally becoming too much for his body to handle.
Sam was secretly glad Jay and the kids weren't home yet. She could explain everything to her family once Ianto was clean and - hopefully - resting.
"Sam?" Ianto murmured shakily as she gingerly washed his body with a knitted facecloth, "what are you going to do to me?"
"Whaddya mean?" Sam replied, "I'm going to wash you up, get you some clean clothes, and help you to bed. And give you some food and water, if you can stomach it."
"But you're not... you're not going to... hurt me, are you?"
"Why the hell would I hurt you, Ianto?"
"I'm naked in your bathroom. You could do whatever you wanted to me right now."
For a moment, Sam felt a surge of anger that Ianto would even consider that she'd do anything to harm him, before remembering that, once again, she hadn't exactly been nice to him up until recently. That combined with all the other trauma he'd experienced in his young life definitely made it reasonable that he would be uncomfortable with someone he didn't know very well washing his broken, beaten body.
Sam sighed heavily.
"Ianto, I need you to know that I would never ever hurt you," she murmured, "not anymore, at least. I was rude to you before, because I'm scared of letting people in, but that's my stupid problem, not yours. And I'm... I'm sorry. For everything."
Ianto nodded, bowing his head as the tears started flowing again.
Neither of them said anything more as Sam finished washing him, drained the bathtub, and went to fetch a bathrobe for him as he dried himself off.
Jack called later in the evening, when Jay had brought Hanna and Alexa home from school and Sam had explained why there was a stranger in the guest room.
"How is he?" Jack asked anxiously, and Sam shuffled in bed a little to get more comfortable.
"Sleeping," she said, "he's been out like a light since I got him cleaned up."
"How bad were his injuries? Should I send Owen over to check on him?"
"Not right now. He needs rest first. I'm not gonna lie to you, Jacksie, it's... pretty bad. He has a lot of bruises and cuts, and I think he's got at least one broken rib."
Silence from the other end, and Sam could feel the rage burning in Jack's chest - the same rage that had been burning in hers from the moment they'd finally pulled Ianto out of that hellhole. The kind of rage that made you want to beat the people responsible for it, but you had to push below the surface, because it wasn't productive to be this angry over something out of your control. It still simmered in there, but you had to swallow it, like a rotten fruit you'd been forced to eat.
"I'll send Owen over tomorrow, then." Jack said finally, and Sam nodded, even though Jack couldn't see her.
"Okay." She murmured.
"How did... how did Jay and the girls react to all this?" Jack pressed.
"Fine," Sam replied evenly, "Hanna and Alexa are really too young to understand the ins and outs of this job, and Jay..." she glanced over her shoulder at her sleeping spouse, "Jay's an angel. He doesn't even have a clue who Ianto is, but he's more than willing to help him get back on his feet again."
"I really appreciate you doing this, Sam."
Sam nodded again, feeling a single tear come to her eye and roll down her cheek.
"I know, Jacksie. I know."
A short silence, in which Jack didn't hang up.
"Tell Jay and the girls I said hi." He said finally, and Sam smiled.
"I will," she murmured softly, "but you could always come say hi to them yourself. You know you're more than welcome here."
"I know, I know," Jack mumbled, "it's just... it's weird. Having a family again after all this time."
"I understand. Still. You can come visit anytime... son."
Sam practically heard the smile that came across Jack's face.
"Thanks." He said quietly.