DISGUYSED

Crash & Burn

"What are you doing with my daughter?"

"N-Nothing!" Alex said defensively, throwing his hands up in the air and striding a good five feet away from me, "She had an eyelash in her eye! I was just...uh, assisting V-Veronica...because she was..." He paused and looked up at my mom bashfully, walking away, "Maybe it's best if I just left-"

"No." She said strictly, holding her hand out and stopping him directly in his tracks, "Stay right there. I have some questions to ask you both."

I pursed my dry lips together, feeling a wave of nervousness come over me, "Alright, mom. What do you want to know?" I asked, trying to sound as casual as possible.

My mom sighed, crossing her arms and narrowing her green orbs, "Well, I want to know why that after waiting in the restaurant for so long, I go outside, hoping to find my daughter to help her look for her earring, that I have to travel the perimeter of the building just to find her cuddling up to some boy and telling him about something that she doesn't want me to know?" She frowned, shaking her head, "This isn't looking well for you, Veronica."

I bit my lip, clenching my fists, "Mom...you have to understand, I was-"

"But I don't understand, Veronica!" My mom snapped, throwing her hands up exasperatedly, "Please enlighten me on what is so important that you're lying to me about it."

I felt my brain turn to mush as I searched for something to say, frantically trying to summon some clever trick that would clear me, but I couldn't think of anything.

"Veronica?"

I exchanged a worried glance with Alex and looked back to my mother in distress. I slumped my shoulders, "Mom, I can't tell you."

She frowned, her eyes flashing with a mix of depression and anger, "You can't tell me? When did we start lying to each other, Veronica?" She asked, tapping her foot, "Because this isn't how I remembered you." She said, shaking her head, summoning her words hoarsely, "I came here to see my daughter. And I'd really like her back."

I felt hot tears sting my eyes as she said that, "Mom, I'm still the same. I just-"

"Just tell me."

I bit my lip. How was I supposed to do this? I couldn't tell her that I'd been lying to her for a year. The truth would only hurt more. I couldn't...

"Mom, I just can't..."

"And you?" My mom seemed to snap, turning her angry head towards Alex, shocking him with her tone of voice, "Do you know about this? Does this little secret involve you?"

Alex's eyes widened. He was usually such a good liar, as I'd learned from experience, but right now, he seemed to draw a blank, "I...uh...Well, no, I just..."

"Mom!" I snapped, "Don't interrogate Alex! It's not his fault I lied to you and dad." I snapped, clenching my fists so tight that my nails pierced my palms.

"I-It's not his fault." I said more calmly. "He knows nothing." I lied.

My mom looked back to me, her eyes flaring with rage, "Then whose fault is it?" She snapped.

"Mine!" I cried, feeling my tears choke me up. My mom's eyes softened, but they regained their hard glare.

"Veronica," My mom said bitterly, "I don't appreciate being lied to. If you're really so sad about it, tell me-"

"Tell you what? Honestly the little lies I've been telling aren't bad. They aren't worth arguing over." I paused and sighed. "Let's just go back to dinner."

"No! We're not going to pretend everything's fine. I don't want to go back to dinner with a liar."

"Trust me, they're--"

"No Veronica!" she yelled. "How can I trust you when I know you're lying to me?!"

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

My mother softened. "Are you in trouble?" she said cocking her head to the side.

I sighed, feeling my hand move to my temple. Nope. Don't show weakness. I thought, placing my hand casually on my hip. "No. No I'm not in trouble."

She threw her hands in the air. "If nothing's wrong and the lies aren't that bad and you're not in trouble I don't understand why---"

"What do you want from me?" I shouted. "What do you want me to say? Do you really want the truth?! My huuugee secret is I go to an all boy's boarding school!"

My mom stopped. Her eyes widened and her mouth fell ajar, as did Alex's. Alex flashed me a "what the hell are you doing?" look, while my mom looked incredibly shocked and even somewhat hurt. As she looked like she was pondering over what to say, I felt a little piece of myself die.

I am strong. I am fearless. I won't cry. I can do this.

"Veronica..." My mother interrupted my thoughts, looking up, her lips pressed together.

I can't do this.

I looked up at her pleadingly, waiting for a response, "Y-Yeah?"

She shook her head and crossed her arms, "Say your goodbyes. We're leaving. Tomorrow." she said, starting to walk away.

I exahaled and closed my eyes, a single tear slid down my cheek. I looked to Alex, his face seemingly in pain as he stared at the water on my face.

I can't leave. I won't.

"Mom!"

She kept walking.

"Johanna." I said, loud and clear.

She stopped.

"I'm sorry I've been lying. If I told you guys what was really on my mind you never would've let me come, you would've never let me out of your sight. I've had the best time here. I've made friends..." I trailed off.

"You have friends. Female friends, back home. Alice, Michelle, Loretta... What about them? Are you just going to forget about them?" she said angrily.

"No. I love them. They know that, and I love you guys too. I would've went back to visit, obviously summers and thanksgiving."

"Oh yea, thanksgiving with my pregnant teenage daughter. Sounds lovely!"

I rolled my eyes at her. "Oh give me a break! I'm not running wild over here."

"How would I know, hmm?!"

"Mom.."

"I've heard enough Veronica." she said suddenly.

"No you haven't! You---"

"I think I have. I'm going back to the hotel." she said cutting me off.

"Damn it! Just listen to me!" I stomped my foot.

"Veronica!"

"I'm not leaving. I can't. I won't."

"You can and will." she said calmly.

"Do you hear me? I'm not leaving." I felt my heart in my throat.

My mother turned slightly and raised an eyebrow. "Do you hear me? I will not say it again."

"Mom please!" I begged.

"Veronica." My mother interrupted me and continued. "We're leaving. All of us. Tomorrow." she said disappearing into the distance.

I clenched my fists and bit my tongue so hard I started to taste a bitter copper.

What did I do?