DISGUYSED

Road Trip!

"Merry almost-sort-of Christmas!" Parker shouted tumultuously, charging in the classroom like a bull, almost running into Mr. Ferguson's desk.

I looked up from my book at Parker, "Huh?" I said, confused.

"Christmas, smart one," Alex said in a harsh monotone from his seat behind me. "You know, the birth of Christ? Where an old, fat, jolly pedophile breaks into the houses of young children and leaves questionable presents, stealing sugary snacks and cow-juice from their pantries and refrigerators."

"I don't ever recall it being exactly like that," Paxton said, raising an eyebrow, turning around in his chair from the seat ahead of me, while I was stuck, confused on Alex's use of the word "cow juice."

"You guys," Parker said, sitting down in his seat next to me, dropping his book bag next to his desk, "We should all do something for Christmas!"

"Christmas?" I said, still confused, "It's almost Christmas?"

"It's the 22nd." Parker said, smiling ear to ear.

Holy crap. It was the 22nd already? My eyes widened, "I did not know that." I said, feeling uninformed.

"Where do you think we should go?" Paxton asked Parker, resting his chin on the palm of his hand.

"Skiing," Parker said immediately, like he'd already thought of what to do.

"Skiing?" I said quizzically, my eyebrows knitting together. "I can't ski."

"I'll teach you," Paxton said, grinning.

My brows rose even higher, "You know how to ski? Paxton, down south isn't exactly the snowiest place in the world."

"No duh," He said, rolling his eyes, "There's a thing called a plane. It can fly you places."

"'It can fly you places,'" Alex mocked in a high voice, scrunching his nose in disgust. I sighed, rolling my eyes. Alex would never quit making fun of Paxton, would he? Alex put down his book and stared quizzically at Parker, "Hey, and aren't you Jewish?"

Parker rolled his eyes, scoffing, "Uh, yeah. But I like holidays. So sue me."

I sighed. Parker was a strange one.

"I think it'd be fun, though." Paxton suggested, grinning.

I nodded fervently, ignoring the snickers from Alex, "Yeah, me too," I grinned.

Alex sighed, pushing his chair back and kicking his feet up on his desk. "Hey, I'll go too. I like snow." He said, smirking.

I moved away from his feet and smiled, "When should we leave?" I asked.

"We can go tomorrow and pack today." Parker said, grinning excitedly like a little kid. "We can tell Aaron and Drake after class that they need to come with us."

A problem popped into my head, "Wait. Who's gonna drive?"

"I will!" Alex said, throwing his hands in the air and grinning wide.

"Somehow, I don't trust you behind the wheel." I said flatly, Paxton nodding in agreement.

"I'll drive," Parker sighed, "I got my license this summer." He stated proudly.

"Somehow I don't trust any of you. You're all so ADD." I said, totally truthfully.

"Valid point," Parker said, pondering that for a moment, "But I'm still driving."

I sighed, realizing there was nothing I could do to change his mind. "So, we're leaving tomorrow?" I clarified.

"Yeah," Parker said, almost jumping out of his chair, "I'll make reservations at the ski lodge tonight. We can stay till... Till whenever, I guess."

"Okay, then. Everyone should pack the second they get back to their dorms, though." Paxton said strictly, looking directly at Alex.

"Fine, mother." Alex rolled his eyes, sighing.

"Alright," Parker said, "So it's settled. We leave at the crack of dawn." He said, smirking.

We all nodded in unison, and Mr. Ferguson started the class.

*****

"I think we should sing Christmas carols. Two, three, four-"

"If you want to keep your life, you won't do that."

"You're so mean, Alex!" Aaron pouted, putting his last bag in the trunk.

Alex shrugged and buttoned up his coat, "It's how I am." He said, shuffling into the car, getting in on the right side.

"Yeah," Paxton said, leaning against the car, "Alex can't help it if he's naturally a douche bag." I sighed, trying to ignore their incessant bickering.

Aaron and Drake were behind me, trying to figure out who's get in first, and ended up pushing me in, shoving me against Alex. He looked at me smugly and my back pressed against his side of the car, "Hello, there." He said slyly, giving me a Cheshire Cat-like smile.

I grimaced, "Creep."

"Woops! Sorry!" Drake said embarrassed, seeing me pushed up against the wall, pulling me back to the center as he sat in the seat next to me. Aaron sighed and climbed over us, jumping over our seats and into the ones facing the back of the road, where he was alone.

"Thanks a lot, Drake!" Aaron grumbled, buckling in his seat, "I'm going to die back here, all alone."

Drake shrugged nonchalantly, "If it happens, it happens."

Paxton filed into the passengers seat and frowned, "Why does Alex get to sit next to Ron?"

"Why do you care?" Alex said, wiggling his eyebrows, "What, Adamson? Are my theories about you being gay actually true? Oh joyous day!-"

"No!" Paxton objected, his face florid. "I just like Ron, and I hate you so much is all." He said causally.

"Aw," Alex said, with mock affection, putting a hand to his heart, "I feel the same way."

"Alright," Parker said, breaking up the thousandth fight and getting into his spot in the drivers seat. "Is everybody ready?" He said, grinning.

"Yes," We answered in unison.

"Got everything you need?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?" He slurred, raising a brow.

"Yes."

"Okay, well, does anyone have to pee?"

"Ye-No."

"Sweet," Parker said, grinning ear to ear, "Alright, then!" He said, buckling himself up and facing the road. He started up the engine, and slammed his foot on the break, screaming, "Onward and upward!"

"Infinity and beyond!" Everyone shouted in unison, punching a fist in the air dramatically, as we skidded across the icy roads.

I laughed at the childishness of it all, and sighed realizing this was going to be a long couple of days.