All For You

𝟎𝟐.

𝐈𝐳𝐚

'Stay with her this time.' A shivering voice rang through my head and echoed off the walls of my heart.

Who? I questioned the echoes in my ruined mind. 

'The one you killed.'

Killed? I wouldn't kill someone. 

'Yes, you don't remember Esira?'

I blinked for a second, my eyes almost tearing up as I took in the atmosphere of this continuous loop of hell. "Esira?"

She looked up at me, a smile playing on her lips as her hazel-green eyes met with mine. I almost took a step back, hoping that it would take me back from this recurring nightmare. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Because-" I stopped abruptly on instinct before I let the words slip out my mouth. It's been two years, but I still couldn't manage to say it out loud.

Not out loud in the harshest way at least, I hadn't grieved enough for her. I don't think I ever will have, for the way she died.

"Because you walked away, Sira," I spoke out my voice trembling towards the end of my sentence, closing my eyes for a second or two before opening them and looking at her again. My heart bleeds saying her nickname when I know she won't reply.

"Well, I'm here now." She spoke timidly, noticing the saddened expression on my face.

I let out a shaky breath and held my chest for a second. It felt almost as if it had expanded to the point where I couldn't breathe. I can't breathe-breathe.

'Good, now you know how she felt that night.'

My heart was shattering and exploding all at once, and there was this huge gaping hole right in the centre that she left. I knew on the day of her funeral nothing would be able to fill it. 'You'll always be empty without her, Iza.', the voice whispered to me in the back of my mind.

Memories started flooding my mind like a waterfall of tears. Voices started talking to me and I was crossing them out but they stuck like glue to the back of my head. Esira picked up a daisy from a nearby vase on her table. "Want a daisy crown?"

The memories of my past grabbed me by the leg and pulled me back.

"What's my nickname, Sira?" I asked, plucking a small daisy from the grass beneath me. It tickled my feet a bit but I didn't mind. I was with my best friend.

No. No. Shut up. I don't want to go through the memory lane now, I don't want any more of this goddamn pain.

"Well, there's a lot for you. Your name is really special." Esira replied, a small smile on her face as she tucked some hair behind my ear and placed a small daisy in between them.

"Like what?" I asked again in a curious tone, looking up at her as she held her hand in mine and continued to walk on.

"Let's think. A special nickname for a special girl like you." Esira pondered, sitting down on the grass and starting to pick on it.

"You're special too," I added, following what she was doing and attempting to pick at the grass.

The grass felt prickly and tickled me a bit when I lightly grazed my palm across the top of it. I let out a small giggle, looking up at Esira as she proceeded to pick out a few daisies. She then made a crown out of the daisies and placed it on my head. How did she do that? She must have magic powers.