All For You

𝟒𝟑.

𝐈𝐳𝐚

'Nice to see you again.' The same shivering voices from before seared through both my mind, heart and soul. However, the pain didn't seem to do anything compared to the affliction I had been put through for the past few days.

What am I doing here again? I asked, fear settling into me as I looked around myself to be covered in echoing darkness.

'Why are you asking me? Does it look like I know?'

I closed my eyes again like I had done in any other nightmare. Knowing exactly what to expect as I slowly released a weighty breath. Soon I felt a cool whoosh of air hit me, along with a hint of musky vanilla. "Esira?"

No, this was different than any other time. I was in our hotel room, yet the atmosphere was different. It went from its usual warm cosy one to a rather cold and stoic one. The chilling air rose goosebumps on my skin, whilst the heavy footsteps of another boomed beside me.

I wanted to turn around, knowing well enough who it was but something held me down rooted on my spot. "Leo?" It felt weird saying his name out loud like that, I hadn't said it in the past three weeks. Yet it still sounded like a perfect caress on my mouth.

He walked in front of me, his face holding a blank expression as he came up to pull out a strand of hair only to tuck it back in my ear. I wanted to take a step back, hoping that it would take me back from this recurring nightmare. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

Leo didn't say anything in reply, an empty smile turning on his face. "You miss me that much?" He asked finally after what seemed to be a century.

"No, I-" I stopped what I was about to say, the feelings of passion overcame me yet I wasn't sure about them yet.

"No, I don't," I repeated, the agony in my voice peeked out a bit towards the end when my voice shook. I let out a deep breath, closing my eyes to calm down the rage of emotions that swirled around me. Almost suffocating my heart in the midst of it all.

Leo turned around, looking out towards the hotel room. "Why am I here then?" He challenged, opening his hands out to the room. "Why is Esira not here?" Because I'm more scared of losing you now.

"You- You broke my heart," I trembled out, my lip thinning to a hard line as I watch him suddenly twist around and walk up to me.

"I did, yet you're still dreaming of me," Leo started explaining, his hand coming up to my jaw as he suddenly grasped it. "You go to bed thinking of me, you paint thinking of me, you eat thinking of me...you don't think there's a reason as to why you feel like this?"

Just as I was about to speak up, Leo suddenly dropped to the ground.

The hands of my past, lurked around in the corner as they suddenly pushed me down to a well of memories as I watched Leo gasp and thrash on the ground with limited breathing. I then blinked, only to see myself kneeling on the ground with him and my hands-

A horrified gasp made its way out my throat as my gaze travelled around his neck to see my hands were around his throat. I pulled my hands away from his neck, expecting for myself to get off him and help him but it didn't work. They stayed stuck on. 

"Iza." He gasped out, in a similar way to how Esira usually did in my dreams, the life in his voice collapsing along with the system error that his heart and lungs went through.

Just like Esira, he began to claw at my hands, scratching as much as he could to get them off. But they stayed glued on, my tears choked me as I continuously tried to remove my hands from his.

His gaze was full of this terror that seemed to consume me with regret and torment until his movements finally stopped. Those grey eyes of his drained out with whatever else emotion he had stuck on in there, the very eyes that I'd obsess over were now gone. Vanished, because of me.