Ancient Pasts - Tbate

Beyond

Cathan Leywin Pov

Blood rushed out of my mouth as my lungs, heart, and chest blew up from the inside. I stumbled over, feeling the immense pain of absorbing too much mana and my organs exploding from the asuras' weapons.

The backlash of overexerting Rupa and Miras' will was as painful as my injuries.

It was painful. It felt like I was getting hundreds of godrunes at once, and an unlimited amount of information was bombarding my mind. During this time, I realized something about myself.

I let out a weak chuckle as I felt my body weaken.

The second strongest man on earth, the second strongest lesser, and the youngest lance was killed not by asuras, mana beasts, or something powerful, but by his own damned mind.

I couldn't believe it took me this long to realize it. Using aether and mana harmed me, Miras' will harmed me, the Immortal Eye harmed me, my very soul harmed me, my godrunes harmed me, and that cave was just the tipping point.

It was ridiculous.

The asuras took a step back, leaving their weapons embedded into me as I tenaciously clung to life. They got into a stance and prepared for anything I might do despite my current state.

I stumbled onto the ground and attempted to make the earth swallow me up, but Viska canceled my spell before I could finish it. I smiled, feeling my soul slowly but surely drift away.

It was fun.

It was fun to use magic.

It was good to see Grey again.

It was soothing to be a child again.

It was awful to carry others' burdens again.

It was pleasant to have friends for once.

It was lovely to have a mother.

It was reassuring to have had a father for once.

It was pleasant to have a twin and younger sister.

It was comforting to have a wife I loved and cherished.

It was nice to be the father of a newborn daughter.

It was nice to have another chance at life.

Then again, most people wouldn't consider this a life. But compared to my previous life, this was blissful. I had friends, colleagues, parents, siblings, a wife, and a daughter.

Sadly, all good things must come to an end, for nothing is permanent.

I'm going to miss this. It was fun while it lasted. It was odd. Despite suffering like this, I didn't think of myself, but I did think of my family and friends.

Being reincarnated is always an option, but I don't want to reincarnate again, nor do I think I can do it again.

I defied fate once, and I'm not confident in doing it once more.

I thought I could no longer feel pain again, but now I learned the truth. It wasn't that I couldn't feel pain but that I ignored it.

I didn't care about feeling pain, I didn't care about suffering, and I did not care about dying. I welcomed death's embrace once, and I will embrace it again.

I only cared about my friends and family, and I hoped for their well-being and survival, even if it meant I would never see them again. Their welfare is my only concern.

"Any last words, lesser?" Windsom's voice broke the deadly silence.

"No." I shook my head with a smile.