Ancient Pasts - Tbate

Regrets

Cathan Leywin Pov

Mana moved chaotically around me as if it was balancing everything. Each mana particle moved with purpose, gravitating towards another of its kind. Taking a deep breath, I released mana from my core, calming the chaotic state of the ambient mana.

I looked towards the sky, using the Immortal Eye's clairvoyance to watch everything that was happening. Noticing the confrontation between Miras, Arthur, and the asuras, I nodded in approval.

"Looks like your plan is going well," Athena commented, seeing my reaction.

"It is," I replied before looking for someone else.

My vision zoomed out before piercing the ground. As my vision refocused, I saw Claire talking with Tessia while they played with Amber and Chloe. Seeing that, my heart ached at not being able to be there for Claire and Amber.

Taking a deep breath, I reminded myself of all my hard work and buried those emotions swirling within me. I watched them for a few minutes, while they either helped Chloe walk, or talked with Amber to help her learn to speak faster.

I could hear all of their words, and I could see it. Now I knew how Arthur felt in Alacrya, being able to see us, but not being able to talk to us. It made me feel hollow and sad, yet it also made me happy.

As a father, I guess I was okay with only being able to watch from afar.

Thinking of that, I couldn't help but imagine how it would've been to have a father in my past life. I didn't remember what his name was, nor did I even remember what he looked like. Recalling that, I felt my heart ache once more at the thought of this happening to Amber.

This was a burden Cecilia, Arthur, and I shared.

"And Nico," Athena added.

"That's if he can live long enough to carry that burden." I snorted, still watching Amber and Claire.

"Speaking of Nico, what do you think Agrona will do?" Athena asked.

Thinking for a few moments, I came up with the most probable course of action he would take. "With his army in Dicathen slaughtered, he has to stay in Alacrya with his half breeds. He can't risk an all-out war with the asuras when Miras is roaming free."

"Twelve days, correct?" Athena inquired.

I nodded stiffly. "That's my estimate."

Athena grew silent as I continued to watch Claire and Amber. I didn't pay much attention to Tessia and Chloe, but I was grateful to them for helping Claire during this time.

Despite all my suffering in hell, I wasn't scared or worried.

But whenever their names or faces pass through my thoughts, I felt more worried than ever. It reminded me a lot of my mother, always worrying about Arthur and me, even when it was the smallest thing possible.

Seeing her grow ever so slowly made me feel accomplished. Even her incoherent babble felt important to me. I felt joy in seeing her, even if it was from afar. I wanted to be there for her, but fate wasn't that kind. It never was.

I recalled my family from both lives. What little I remembered anyway.

My mother, Alice, was always worried when I did anything. I recalled my sister Eleanor and how she was always an upbeat and optimistic child, despite losing her childhood. I recalled my brother Arthur, my only family during my past life.

I recalled my father, Reynolds...

Remembering my father left a sour taste in my mouth. It was honestly one of my biggest regrets in life. Not being able to help him back then was something I blamed myself for every time I recalled his face. I lost him after one of my most important and happiest moments in life.