my light of day

CHAPTER 57

NEWWIEE'S POV

"Wait! Where's your ring??", Gun asked as if he is investigating a crime.

"I stopped wearing it", I shrugged off my hand and awkwardly scratched my nape. He knew everything then why does he still need to ask.

"Why??"

"You know the wedding's off, Gun."

"Yes! The wedding! But not the engagement, though", he raised his eyebrow and crossed his arm, "or are you calling that off too?"

"No. I don't know."

Really.

"Oh my God. What did Tay say about you taking off your ring?"

"He... erm, I guess was okay with it."

He's not.

One morning, I just decided to stop wearing it without any reason. Maybe I'm still mad or I don't like wearing it anymore as it sometimes triggers my anxiety. And Tay noticed it was gone the second I went inside the car on my way to work.

"You forgot your ring", Tay stated cheerlessly.

"Oh. I, uhm, did not", I answered without looking at him but clearly saw his reaction when I side glance.

He exhaled harshly, his hands gripped tightly on the steering wheel, and leaned his head back.

"What about your promise ring?", he asked after blowing off some air.

I didn't answer him because, to be honest, I don't know how to answer his question. Why did I also get rid of the promise ring?

"Nevermind. That's your choice anyway. Sorry for asking", his voice trembling slightly.

I felt bad. I wanted to apologize but I can't get myself to say anything. He was hurt and I can see that, but my inner self says he deserves it. And it sucks that even my subconscious guides me towards the hatred I have for him.

"Newwiee?", Gun's voice snapped me back, "I know this is going to be too much for you but, don't you want to attend couple counseling? Someone that may help both of you get through this?"

"Gun, the last thing I need to see right now is a shrink. For what? To recall and harken back where this all started? Where my anxiety is coming from? Then what? Have me take medicines I don't need? No way!"

"Okay, okay! I was just suggesting. Fine if you don't want to", he frowned at me and pouted.

I sighed in response.

"Can I ask you something?", he stared at me with his chin on his hand, "why did you continue your relationship with Tay? And don't answer me with because I love him. Just, what made you stay?"

"I thought we both deserve a chance."

"And... how is that working for your relationship so far?"

I sighed yet again.

It's not working. So far.

"We'll get through it", I answered.

"Then help yourself. I'm sure Tay is trying his best, you should too."

"What??", I felt blood rush to my head, "are you saying I'm not trying?"

"Uhh, based on what I heard from you? You're not trying harder. You only get angry even for no reason. Look, he may still be hurting you, but that's already unintentional, New. However, you, you're consistently hurting him and I think you--"