Who You Are

Chapter 1 - Suffering in Silence

If anyone asked him, he would not answer. If no one knew, he would never tell. If he was in pain, he would suffer silently. If he was sad, he would hide it with his warm smile. If he was hiding something, he was good at covering it up. Even his husband has not noticed some of these things.

How could he? He was the current Chief Cultivator, so a lot of his time was in meetings with the sects, or with his own sect. His husband has been so busy lately, he hasn't even noticed he has been crying at times.

When would he cry though? He would cry when he was alone in The Jingshi. He had no one other than his husband, and occasionally a couple of the junior disciples would stop by. So, he would just suffer in silence. He has done that for years now, and it has become a skill at this point.

Who is he? His name, Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian is a man who had been wronged by the world. He fought for what he thought was the right thing, but in the end, he lost two families. He lost his "so call" family from Lotus Pier. Jiang Fengmian, Yu Ziyuan, and Jiang Yanli, along with a lot of his Shidi and Shimei, died and he was put at fault for it.

His second family, a family who he cared for so dearly, were the Wen Remnants. They were a group of people who were a small branch of the main Qishan Wen Sect. Because of that and they bared the name Wen, they became living targets. Those remnants were not cultivators. They were nothing but farmers, healers, women, elders, and children. They died for being innocent. Wen Ning and Wen Qing had also been his family.

Wei Wuxian consider Wen Qing as his Jie (older sister) and he considered Wen Ning as his Didi (younger brother). In other words, he considered them sworn siblings. They had suffered just as much as the rest of the family. Wen Qing had been burned alive, and her amazing medical skills had come to not. They had been taken away from the world. As for Wen Ning, he loves his life as a walking fierce corpse. He can't die, and he doesn't have to eat or drink, sleep, and he is doesn't get sick and is immune to toxins and poisons.

Though, that was his past, he lives with that every day. He lives in emotional pain, regret, guilt, and self-hate every second of every day. He doesn't tell anyone about it because he doesn't think anyone would bother caring.

'Why would they?' He would think 'why would anyone care if I am in pain or sad?' He would suffer in his own thoughts all day long, and as described before, his husband was hardly around to notice.

Who is he? His name, Lan Wangji. He was a pristine and prominent man from a very well respected sect known as The Gusu Lan Sect. Bound by thousands of rules, he followed them completely. He only started to sway from them the day he met Wei Wuxian. Many would say he is out of his mind for having a husband like Wei Wuxian, but he dared anyone to say that to his face.

When it comes to Wei Wuxian recently, it's not like he is ignoring him on purpose, or not noticing him hurt. It is just that he is so caught up with his duties he has no time to think about much at all, and Lan Wangji hated it. He wanted to be with Wei Wuxian all day every day. He chose to be Chief Cultivator so others would leave him be an he can set order within the sects. He didn't think it would take so much of his time that he would only spend an hour at night with Wei Wuxian before going to sleep. Wei Wuxian would even wake up at five in the morning just to see Lan Wangji for a little while before he went on his way. After he had left, Wei Wuxian would go back to sleep. It was like this every day for a very long time, until something changed.

It was a bit earlier in the afternoon and Wei Wuxian was hidden inside The Jingshi like he would always do. He would just hang out there most of the day. He hardly ever went out, and he hardly even left to town to drink. He just didn't care about going anywhere. It was that afternoon when things were going to start changing for Wei Wuxian. The first thing, Lan Wangji had cleared his duties for that afternoon to spend time with Wei Wuxian. He did it as a surprise for him as he had hardly any time for his husband lately.