Who You Are

Chapter 78 - Bittersweet

The following day, everyone was back and fully refreshed. Though, there were unknown hardships yet to be seen, Wei Ying was doing so much better, in terms of his mental health. The amount of support and proper apologies he has received has actually warmed his heart. He is still learning to accept them, and deciding on who to forgive and who to forget was hard to figure out. Lan Zhan even started to notice a change in Wei Ying's behavior. From last night's love-making, he definitely figured it out. Wei Ying was so much more open and himself again.

Lan Zhan was sitting on the left couch with his back in the corner. Wei Ying went to sit beside him but Lan Zhan immediately took him and sat him down on his lap. Wei Ying smiled at his husband and adjusting his seating position. His back again the couch facing towards the screen. His butt sat perfectly within Lan Zhan's legs as he leaned into him and placed his head on chest.

"A'Ying, how are you feeling today?" Baoshan asked him.

"I am feeling much better today," Wei Ying said, "I am just having a good morning. I will be grateful for any days where I can be this happy."

"That's good," Baoshan said, "just don't ever hesitate to tell someone, your husband, me, Qiren or Xichen, or your parents if you need to talk or if you feel uneasy."

"I will, thank you, Zumu," Wei Ying said, "so how much of the sixteen years are we going to see?"

"Just the important or impactful ones," Baoshan said, "the one we are starting with today is actually quite bittersweet. We could use a little something to warm our hearts a bit."

Wangji was a bit confused. To him though, most of those sixteen years were just a blank memory or a blur. He doesn't remember much of it...especially since Wei Ying came back.

***

Lan Zhan spent three years isolating himself within the boundaries of the Jingshi, the veranda, and the back hills where his bunnies were located. He was a broken man, an empty shell. His sons were the only thing that kept him motivated enough to live on. His love was dead, his other half, his soul-mate...he was just gone. Lan Zhan felt betrayed. He was hurt beyond belief.

His dreams were often visited by Wei Ying's hauntingly beautiful frame surrounded by thick black smoke. Every night he saw Wei Ying fall again. He saw the look of tortured pain as Jiang Cheng yelled. Rewatching the exact moment his loved slipped through his fingertips and fell.

Every night he would wake up in a cold sweat calling out to Wei Ying. Since his brother, Lan Xichen has been staying at the Jingshi to help him with the twins, he can see just how broken, Lan Wangji really was. He was often woken by Wangji's screaming in his sleep.

Lan Zhan gave no sign to anyone that he was broken. His eyes spoke for him, it was visible just how hurt he was. Only his brother and uncle knew what was truly wrong. No one would have thought the righteous Hanguang Jun would care so profoundly over the Yiling Patriarch.

Everyone else took him for being the Cold Hanguang-Jun. Only his brother, uncle, and of course, the man he loved, saw the real him. He was kind, he was misunderstood, and he was gentle and caring. His brother Lan Xichen was worried. He had watched as everything had unraveled. He was still haunted by his brother's final broken cry of 'Wei Ying.'

On this day, three years ago, marks Wei Ying's fall...his death. It was only a few days after the twins were born, did he lose his soulmate. Lan Zhan was sitting on his bed in the Jingshi staring outside the window. The weather was just as gloomy as his mood.

"Dada," a cute little voice spoke out for him. Hearing such a sound made Lan Zhan's heart coo a little, it gave him meaning, and it it was also the last thing he had left of Wei Ying.