Who You Are

Chapter 62 - Prenatal Blues

It's been a few months and Wei Ying was due any day. Wei Ying and Lan Zhan decided  after they were born, they would be moved to Cloud Recesses. Lan Zhan already had Jingshi prepared for the twins. Wei Ying didn't like the idea of not seeing his babies grow, but he had no choice. He didn't want such fragile beings in a place like the burial mounds.

For Lan Zhan, he was to be at the mounds the next morning as he had prepared a two week long night-hunt. It gave such an excuse to leave Gusu for several days to be with Wei Ying and the babies. As his due date approaches, Wei Ying became more depressed. Knowing the moment the twins are born, he can't have them around him for too long. Maybe three to four days or the amount of time Lan Zhan had planned to stay.

"Qing-Jie!" Wei Ying cried as he basically in bed rest per her orders.

"What is it?" She asked, "any discomfort or pain?"

"I'm not doing okay," he told her, "I don't know what to do."

Wen Qing sat beside him on the bed and pulled him into a comfortable hold, "do want to talk about it?"

"I know that once the babies are born, I go back to being a broken and miserable man," he said, "Lan Zhan agreed to take them home to Cloud Recesses so they don't have to suffer here at the mounds. Thinking about them leaving and me not seeing them, it hurts."

"It will be alright," she reassured trying to calm him and comfort him, "try not to get too worked up. It isn't good for you or your babies."

"I'm sorry," he said crying, "I'm sorry."

He kept repeatedly saying I'm sorry over and over again. Wen Qing didn't know what was apologizing for exactly but she knows he is in a lot of emotional pain. It is not easy to give up something you love just for their safety but in the end, it is the right thing to do. As Wen Qing tried to calm him down, someone had just broken through the barrier of the mounds. It was late at night, between one and three in the morning, actually.

"I need to go check the ward," Wen Qing said.

"Jie, I'll go, you stay," Wen Ning said

Wen Qing nodded. She knows she shouldn't leave Wei Wuxian's side at the moment.

...

"Oh, A'Xian," Yanli said, "I'm sorry you had to go though that."

Wei Ying nodded, "I didn't get to see my boys grow up to be such fine young cultivators, but I am happy and proud of them. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you," Wei Ying told his two sons.

"Don't worry," Sizhui said, "you don't have to apologize to me or Jingyi. Especially watching this, we can understand why you were away."

Lan Zhan let the two boys sit with him and Wei Ying as they continued to watch.

...

"Lan-er-Gongzi?" Wen Ning asked as he went to check the situation with the barrier.

"Sorry to just break in," Lan Zhan said, "I couldn't wait into daylight to come, so I am here now."

"Actually, you came at a good... bad time," Wen Ning tried to explain.

"What?" Lan Zhan asked.

"Qing-Jie has been up for the past two or so hours trying to get A'Ying to stop crying," Wen Ning explained, "he is getting depressed, according to my Jie."

"Where is he now?" Wangji asked concerned.

"Laying down in the cave," Wen Ning answered, "He is on bed rest as of yesterday."

"Oh," Lan Zhan said, "he is not a person who likes to sit still."

"You can head to the cave, I'll fix the barrier," Wen Ning told Lan Wangji.

Lan Wangji nodded and went to go see his soulmate. Entering the cave, he could see what Wen Ning meant. Wei Ying was not having a good time emotionally. The last time he was at the mounds, his cave had plenty of talismans and crafts everywhere but now it's cleaned spotless.

"Wen Qing," Lan Zhan greeted, "I came a bit earlier then expected... I wanted to be here sooner."

"Honestly, that might be of help," Wen Qing said still trying calm Wei Ying down, "A'Ying, your partner is here."

"My partner?" Wei Ying asked looking over Wen Wing's shoulder and saw him, "Lan Zhan?"

"I'm here now," Lan Zhan told him, "I came here early... want me to lay with you?"

"Will you?" Wei Ying asked.

...

Everyone had seen many different views of Wei Wuxian, but the pregnant and vulnerable Wei Wuxian was a bittersweet sight to see. Wei Wuxian was hurting because he wanted to be with his children as they grew, but he can't as he is bound and hated by all cultivators. He seemed so... small... almost as if he just wanted to disappear.

"Seeing A'Xian like this makes my heart go numb," Yanli stated.

"I know, but at least he has some support," Cangse said reassuringly.

"It was only Lan Wangji, Wen Ning and Wen Qing, but it was enough to help him get by," Yanli explained, "I don't want him to feel alone or be alone ever again."

"He won't," Lan Zhan reassured her, "I am not leaving his side, no matter what.

...

Wen Qing got up from trying to comfort Wei Ying and allowed Lan Zhan to take her place. It didn't take long for Lan Zhan to get him to calm down. Lan Zhan kept placing kisses all over his lover's face to soothe him, and make him feel loved and worthy.

"Lan Zhan!" Wei Ying giggled as Lan Zhan cuddled him close.

"I want you to know that I love you, Wei Ying," Lan Zhan told him.

"I love you too," Wei Ying said happily and placed his head on Lan Wangji's chest.

About an hour after laying there with Lan Zhan, Wei Ying suddenly felt something wet flow between his legs and onto the bed.

"Lan Zhan?" Wei Ying asked for him, as he may be asleep.

"Hmm," Lan Zhan said turning his face to look at him.

"Why did the bed get wet all of a sudden?" Wei Ying asked.

Lan Zhan sat up and pushed the blankets aside for a minute, "your water broke," he informed.

Luckily Wen Qing was nearby when he said that. She heard what Lan Zhan said about his water breaking. Wei Ying felt a sudden pain spread through him. The boys were coming.