Anymore| TaeGyu

[23]

[Discussions of drug usage ahead]

In the nicest way possible, Beomgyu did not give a shit about Soobin. 

At least for today.

He couldn't stand to be there any longer, knowing Taehyun was around. Life was taking a turn for the worst, and he did not want to deal with those pent up emotions right now.

So, he took Soobin's money, and he left.

He ignored all the phone calls, and angry texts, flopping down onto his bed face first. He rolled around in the sheets, kicked his legs, and eventually curled up into a cocoon. He just wanted all the stress to go away, and he just wanted to be happy again. It had been so long though, he couldn't really remember what it felt like.

Letting out a deep sigh, he sat up again, letting the sheets fall around him. He didn't need to wallow in his misery, he needed drugs. That would make him feel better; they always did.

Reaching towards his bedside table, Beomgyu pulled open the top draw, digging around for a few minutes. He came up with nothing. There had to be some drugs somewhere, but it's not like he was good at organizing things.

Shutting the draw, he was just about to continue his hunt else where, when he noticed a silver watch sitting on the night stand.

He tilted his head, grabbing the item and looking it over. It felt expensive, probably made from stainless steel or some other high quality material. It had a leather strap, intricate detailing on the inside, and there was an engraving on the back.

The engraving read: 'You will always be precious to me Tae, love Youngmi.'

"Choi fucking Soobin!!" He screamed at the top of his lungs, squeezing the watch in his fist. "You fucking lying rat!"

It wasn't only Yeonjun, it wasn't only Soobin. Someone else had come to his apartment, someone he didn't want anywhere near him.

"'I had to come look after you' my ass! Ever thought about mentioning the blonde dickhead you brought with you?!" 

If the watch was in his bedroom, did that mean...

No it couldn't, he was high, Taehyun would never take advantage of him. Though, it did mean he spent the night, and also saw the state he had gotten himself into. Just what he needed, Taehyun seeing the wreck he had become.

Even after all this time, a small part of him cared about Taehyun's opinion.

"Fuck this!"

Beomgyu stumbled out of bed, making a beeline for the front door. He gripped the handle, about to slide open the lock, when someone knocked his door from the other side. Still holding the watch, Beomgyu opened the door.

"We need to talk about it."

Did he really want to talk to Yoongi right now? No fucking way.

"Did you give it to her?"

Yoongi furrowed his brows, and crossed his arms. "Why would I give your mum heroin? She's more than just a distributor to me, she's my friend kid. I don't want this life for her."

"Oh sorry, my bad! Shouldn't have accused the drug dealer of giving my mum heroin!" Beomgyu's voice was laced in sarcasm that Yoongi did not appreciate at all.

"Listen, I'll brush off the attitude as you being in a bad place right now, but you need to cut it out." Yoongi stated in a warning tone. "I wanted to come and check how you were doing."

"I'm fucking dandy Yoongi! Never been better! Mum's fucking on heroin again! She's got some sleaze ball hanging about! I'm really glad you care so much Yoongi! I don't know how I'd survive if the local drug lord didn't come to check on me!"

Yoongi was losing his patience, he did not come here to be yelled at.

 "Alright, I'm gonna knock you right off that high horse. You are no better than your mother, or I. You deal drugs, and you are fucking addicted to them too."

He couldn't believe what he was hearing. In his mind, their situations could not be compared at all. "And who got me into that life?! Who's fault is it?! I was literally born addicted to heroin! I grew up around strung out junkies and drug dealers! I'm allowed to be annoyed, what other life could I have had?!" 

This was years worth of anger pouring out.

"Life hasn't been easy for you kid, and it hasn't been for me either. It sucks that you had such a fucked up childhood, but we are doing the best we can, and you always had a choice." Yoongi remained calm but stern, refusing to raise his voice. "You were the one who begged me to start dealing, and when you wanted to quit, I had no problem with it. Not everyone is against you, I hope to God you get yourself out of here."

"Stop acting like you care! I remember you dragging me to your apartment kicking and screaming, when all I wanted was to be with my mum! It's not normal to make a five year old weigh out your cocaine! No wonder I started getting an interest in it!"

"You couldn't be with your mum because she was strung out all the time!" 

This kid couldn't understand, he couldn't remember how things actually were. He was so young, he saw things in a different way back then. Yoongi couldn't shield him from everything, and he never claimed to have done so, but he did what he could to protect him.

"So maybe I made you weigh out cocaine to distract you, and stop you crying. But I thinks that's way less traumatic than seeing your mum fucked up on heroin."

Beomgyu found himself quiet, mouth dry, and heart pounding.

"I saw myself in you kid, we're a lot more similar than you might think. I didn't go about it in the right way, I was just desperate for you to not have to see your mother like that. Stay away from your mother for a few weeks, I'll sort it."

Yoongi's tone was softer, and yet, depressingly somber. He looked deflated. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out and handed Beomgyu a clear packet of white powder, without making eye contact. He knew what the boy needed.

"Just like I've done every other time."