The Hidden Darkness

Life of a Hypocrite.

I'm a hypocrite.
I say one thing, yet I do the exact opposite.

I say, "Love yourself exactly as you are, not by what you wish you were."
I hear that I'm pretty, beautiful, and everything else, but I don't see it. I wish that I did.
Maybe then I'll stop hating myself and stop comparing myself to everything that I'm not.

I say, "Don't feel bad for eating something; everything in this world needs a food source."
I get told, sometimes even yelled at, to eat even if it's something small.
Yet, I go days without eating and feel guilty when I cave in and eat something, even if it's something like a cookie.

I say, "You have a purpose or a talent; you just need to let it find you." I've been told that I'm good at a lot of things, mainly writing.
Yet, I tear myself down over and over for every little mistake, and I feel like everything I do is pointless.. like none of it matters at all.

I say, "It's okay to open up; you shouldn't bottle your thoughts, problems, or feelings. They'll eat you up inside."
But I bottle everything inside and tell you I'm fine.
Even if I'm in the worst pain, I won't let it show.

So, yeah, I'm a hypocrite.
And I won't let anyone see it or know it.
I hide it all because no one's supposed to know,
Although it doesn't matter anyway, because no one cares.
I mean, "everyone's a hypocrite after all," right?