Changes // Toni Shalifoe (DISCONTINUED)

2:11

Day 46

I put the tape recorder in my pocket and made my way back to camp. There was an extra pep in my step as I walked back with an excited smile. I know the girls will be mad how long I've been gone, Toni especially, but it was worth it. 

By the time I get back to camp, most of the day has already passed. I smile when I see everyone is at camp, they're all gathered by the fire. When I approach, there's a snap of a branch and they all snap their head towards me, "Hey! Guess what guys-" I start to say excitedly, but stop when Toni stands up and glares at me.

"Where the fuck were you?" 

"I can explain in a second, but you'll never guess what I foun-" My voice trails off when I see them gathered around Martha. The girl looks... numb, sort of. Her head is laying on Shelby's lap as she stares up at the sky with a blank look, "What happened to Martha?"

"You'd know if you were here." Toni continues to glare at me. I shrink back slightly at the tone. Yeah, I've seen her angry, but never this much. Especially at me. 

"I-I'm sorry. I swear I had a reaso-"

"Oh yeah? What could have been so fucking important?" Toni shouts, "You weren't fucking here! I was freaking out when I woke up without you and you weren't here for Marty-"

"Okay, Toni. Calm down a second. Yes, it was shit she wasn't here, but we can talk about this calmly." Dot says, getting  up and hesitantly walking over to Toni. 

"Stay the fuck out of this, Dot." Toni glares at the girl who backs away slightly. My eyes widen and I freeze when Toni looks back at me, "Marty went fucking comatose and I don't even know if she's gonna snap out of it. You should have been here. I fucking needed you. Marty needed you! We all fucking needed you and you had to be selfish and run off doing god knows what-"

"I told you! I can explain if you just let me! I-I found proof! Just give me a second to show it to you-" I go to grab the tape recorder but Toni stops me.

"I don't care about your fucking proof, Emma." I take a step back and my eyes widen. I'm trying to stay calm, but everything inside of me is shaking.

"Toni-" Rachel steps forward but Toni turns back to her.

"Stay out of this. You're the last person who should step up considering Emma thinks your sister was into some shady shit."

"What?" Rachel asks looking at me, "What's she talking about?"

"It's hard to explain," I stutter, "I-I saw her talking on a phone-"

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Rachel says, her tone turning more into anger. I take another step back when she stands next to Rachel, the two of them now both angry.

I feel my breathing increase as all the girls stare at me. Well, everyone besides Martha, "I-I can explain. I swear. I know it's hard to hear, even harder to believe, but there's shit going on here. Shit that Nora was involv-"

"Don't." Rachel steps forward, making me step back, "Don't say her name."

"I-I have proof." I say lightly. 

Fatin steps forward next to me, "Why don't we see what Emma has to show-"

"Stay out of it. You've been cradling Nora's journal like it's your fucking lifeline." Toni says, her anger taking complete control over everything she's saying. Her chest rapidly goes up and down as she breathes deeply. 

"I-uh-I think we should take a break." I step back, "We can talk later-"

"No, I'm not hearing shit about Nora from you." Rachel says. I look at her and shrink back even further. I turn and look at Leah. The brown-haired girl gives me a shrug, making my heart drop further. 

Toni starts to walk away. I feel my heart rate increase and I run after her. Fatin tries to grab for my arm, but I push past her and chase after Toni, "Toni! Toni, wait!" I call for her. She keeps walking, but stops further down, "Look, I'm sorry about Martha! I'm sorry I wasn't here-"

"Why weren't you?"

"I-I told you. I went to find proof. I found-"

"What happened to us agreeing about the buddy system? You scared the shit out of me."

"I know, I'm sorry. I just-"

"I don't want to hear it!" Toni yells, "I don't want to hear about your stupid conspiracy theories. I don't want to see this fucking proof! All I want is for Marty to be okay. I don't need to hear you lose your fucking mind and go crazy when I need to focus on Marty now."

I step backwards. My heart hammering in my chest. Crazy, "You said you believed me." I whispered. 

Toni looks at me. Her chest starts to slow down as her words sink in and she processes what she said, "Em-" I take a step back when Toni steps forward, flinching slightly since I don't want her to touch me. Not after she said that.

However, Toni's eyes sadden at the flinch, "I-I wouldn't hurt you."

"You already did." I mumble. 

The two of us stand there. Toni keeps her eyes on my face but I keep my eyes looking down. My breath quickens and I feel like the space is closing in on me. I shouldn't be here. I need to put some space between us. 

I feel the tape in my pocket and it feels heavier than ever. My mind and soul feel out of my body. Every bone aches as I feel my mind swirl and unwind. With everything, I do all I could think of doing.

I run.