Changes // Toni Shalifoe (DISCONTINUED)

2:6

Day 36

Fatin took Nora's journal under her wing. I feel a lot of frustration build since I can't see it. I can't find any clues and I'm forced to wander and hope for the best. However, today seemed to be my lucky day. Fatin, for once, left the journal at camp and went into the woods to talk with Martha. I at first left the camp, but really I was just waiting for her to leave.

When I saw an opening, I took it. I quickly looked around to see if anyone else was around, and let out a breath of relief when there was no one, before eating over to the journal. I opened to the last page I saw. Taking my time to look through the others for clues. When I reached the feather, my hand hovered over the numbers in them, "What does this mean?" I whisper to myself. A flash of Nora with the phone pops in my head, "A phone number?" I question. That's gotta be it. What else could those numbers mean?

I rip out a page at the back, writing down the number, "Okay, what else is there?" I whisper to myself before looking through it. My eyes stop on a page full of doodles. My eyes squint before they widen slightly, "A map, maybe? Fuck, I don't know." I grab one more piece of paper before placing it over. I can barely see the lines, but only just make them as I do a rough trace of everything. I try to make it quick before anyone comes back to camp. If I trace this, I can examine it carefully later. Right now I'll just take out as much as I can.

When I'm satisfied with the rough drawing, I fold it and stuff the paper into my bra. Before I can scroll through anything else, a voice scares me, "Thought you were banned from the journal?" Toni asks. I whip around to look at her and place a timid smile on my face.

"Secret between us?"

Toni smirks, walking over and wrapping a hand around my waist, pulling me forward, "Well, then I need more details to keep this secret."

"Just... curious about it, is all." I say slowly, making Toni raise an eyebrow, "You're gonna think I'm crazy."

"Yeah, well, Fatin already announced that you can't go through that journal or hand with Leah so I think that ship is already sailed." Toni jokes. When I give her a look, her face goes back to serious, "I swear, Em. I'm not gonna think you're crazy."

The mention of Fatin makes my heart drop. I think of how everyone was looking at Leah before. How Fatin looked at me yesterday when she saw me start to agree with Leah. I think of that, and it makes me stop. I want to tell her so bad. Toni is just one person I never want to look at me like that. When I find proof, then I'll tell her. Hard evidence, "I just thought maybe there would be some closure from that day in here. But, maybe I'm wrong. I should just stay away before my mind spirals." I laugh slightly.

Toni gives me a look. Her body deflates slightly. Toni has always known when someone is bullshitting. However, when she looked at me, she just gave me a strained smile, pecking me on the lips before walking away. I let out a sigh, everything in my body wants me to tell Toni. But my heart stops me and I place Nora's journal back where it originally was before walking by myself into the forest.

When I get deeper, I sit myself on a rock and pull the drawings out of my bra. I examine them deeper, trying to decipher each one and figure out where to start, "I hope to god you lead me to some proof. Help me somehow." I mumble.

I decide to take a break from the drawings. I place them back into my bra and lean back against the tree. My eyes close and I don't register when I fall asleep.

"I really hate that you dragged me here." Ethan mumbles as I show him another dress.

"Come on. It's my first date with Allie and usually I go to her for this stuff, but for obviously reasons, I can't. You're the only one who knows I'm gay. So, you get the role by default." I smile at him, "Now, how about this one?"