Hug me more - Bang Chan Fanfic Romance (COMPLETED)

Chapter 1 - How do I keep going?

--------------------------------

~pic above is not mine. Couldn't find the original owner, but I've found the pic here: https://aminoapps.com/c/poetry/page/blog/if-you-forget-me/WJxG_lNGhXu7YbRLeRQxYN0e2QQbgEMBvxEtr

--------------------------------

Chapter 1 - How do I keep going?

Damn, I hate this place. I thought while grabbing a tray from the kitchen with glasses full of the most expensive champagne one could buy.

Honestly, the place itself was okay... It's actually my life that I hate. Ever since my parents' accident, my life took a 180˚ turn. I used to be truly happy. Honestly, I was one of the lucky ones that were born with a silver spoon in their mouths. My parents had a mid-level company and we had enough money for me to travel the world, live abroad and to follow my passion: designing clothes. I dreamt of being a movie costume designer, or even a fashion designer if I found out that the film industry wouldn't have been to my liking.

That's all in the past now... I had one more year of college when my dad totaled our car while driving drunk after a party. Thinking about it now, part of it was my fault. I knew he had drunk at least a few glasses of wine. We should've never gotten into that car... We crashed into a tree at over 100km/hr. Him and my mother were in the front seats and passed away on impact, while me and my sister escaped, since both of us were in the backseat and had our seatbelts on. I've suffered pretty horrific injuries; my abdomen was basically impaled by a 7cm tree branch, and I've got a nasty scar there. By some miracle, my organs were spared so I've healed easily.

My sister, however, is another story... she's had both of her legs crushed by our dad's car seat. Even one year later, she is still in the hospital. She was put in a coma for about 2 months because the doctors believed letting her wake up would put her body into shock because of the pain and result in her passing. When they decided to let her wake up, she had to keep staying in the hospital and work with some experts until she will hopefully regain mobility in both of her legs. She does physiotherapy daily, but she still can't walk on her own. The doctors have been waiting for her injuries to heal better so they can perform a complex surgery that should help her. The kid's been through so much... she's only 10 and didn't deserve to have so much of her life taken away by dad's recklessness.

We were lucky to have worn our seatbelts, otherwise neither of us would've made it.

Anyway, what shocked me most after the accident was surprisingly not the fact that my parents died (although that was shocking and depressing as heck in itself; my parents were very good to us), but that our whole life was... a lie. Their company racked up debt after debt in the last few years and we owed millions. 

Guess who has to pay for all that debt... yep, you're right. This girl right here!

The first thing I did after getting back from the hospital after the accident was to sell everything we owned. The collectors would've come take it all anyway. I had to give away the house, the cars, our designer clothes, the computers, TV... all that I've known of my whole life. However, I still had a colossal debt to pay, and my sister being in the hospital for so long wasn't helping too much either. Hospital stays, X-Rays, other tests, her medication and the physiotherapy there are all pretty freaking expensive. It's very difficult to pay for her expenses on top of the debt, while also making sure that I have a roof over my head. Some days I have to skip eating entirely, others, I manage to sneak away some food. Working in a restaurant sure has it perks!

It's funny, really, I never thought that something like this would happen to me. I lived in my perfect bubble, I had friends, a loving family, money... truly the perfect life. Of course, now I know that all of it was fake. My so-called "friends" dropped me as soon as I got broke and even tried to take advantage of the fact that I was desperate for money, and the "family" I had left stopped returning my calls entirely.

And if losing everything wasn't enough, I've also had to give up on my dreams of becoming a designer. I couldn't afford to pay for the last year's tuition, and since I had to work to earn money and slowly pay off the debts, I wouldn't have had any time to attend classes anyway... I've tried finding a designer job at first, or even to work as a seamstress, but no one wants to hire a drop-out. It's like skills don't even matter in this damn world.

So, this is how I ended up here. I currently have 3 part-time jobs and work for about 12 hours daily in a convenience store and two restaurants. The commute is killing me, I spend about 1 hour with the bus from each place to the other. But these were the only flexible jobs I could find... so here I am.

Honestly, if it weren't for my sister, I would've killed myself already. I feel like there's nothing left for me anymore. This past year has been so emotionally draining... Living like this for the rest of my life... is not worth it.

But I can't leave my sister behind...