Mentors (An Everlark Fanfic)

Chapter 36

(A/N: I know nothing about anesthesia or how it works, so if this is wrong, please forgive me)
Raze's POV
I'm paralyzed. Frozen in place, not able to move a single muscle. This must be some kind of weird, sick, twisted joke my hearbroken, tortured mind is playing on me in my sleep. This is not real. This cannot be real. I don't want this to be real. This is too much. I just want to wake up while I'm still somewhat sane. I want to wake up before I fall for the trick my mind is playing on me. Before I start to believe in this. Ylja is not alive. She can't be alive. If she was still alive, that would mean I still would be in the Games, fighting my way out.
But she looks so real. Like I can almost feel the heat her body gives. The security, the safety. It's like I can smell her. Lillie's, sweat from training, sugar as sweet as herself. The makeup she was wearing as Hill has been washed off, and her face is fresh, with her big, shiny eyes blinding me.

"Raze?" Ylja asks, carefully taking a step towards me, her voice shaky and and unsure, tears filling her eyes.
"No! THIS IS NOT REAL! THIS IS JUST A DREAM!" I yell, grabbing my hair, like I'm trying to pull myself out of this mad dream. I fall to my knees, screaming as loud as. I can, squeezing my eyes, not wanting to hear or see the nightmare in front of me. In a far distance, I hear Ylja's voice asking what's wrong with me, Peeta answering that I think this is all just a dream and Katniss saying that she'll get Prim and some medicine to make me sleep. Next thing I know, I can feel a syringe being injected into my arm and them everything goes black.

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Katniss's POV
"Why did he need the shot?" Prim asks me, her big, blue eyes staring up at me.
"He just freaked out for no reason," I lie. I hate lying to Prim, and even though I know I can trust her, I can't tell her about Ylja, - who's currently hiding in the living room. - It's too risky.
Prim then moves on to explain about how the medication she gave Raze works.
"It wasn't a big shot, but it effects everyone differently. I'd say he'd be out for a about a day or so," she says, before walking home again.
Peeta carries Raze upstairs to his bedroom, and when he comes back, the three of us - Peeta, Ylja and I - head into the living room. Peeta and I settle down on a couch and Ylja plops down into a chair in front of us.

"Okay Ylja. Mind explaining to us how you survived the Games?" I ask Ylja.
"Yes," she answers, taking a deep breath. "I only remember pieces of it: myself running away from Raze after I was impaled, a bright, like, blink of light, something I overheard the Gamemakers say about a flaw in the forcefield. Lots of blood, and blurred vision and then the feeling of cement against my entire body, and then.. darkness. The next thing I knew, I woke up in Cinna's penthouse apartment. He told me I'd been blacked out for days, and then he helped me make a disguise. He had a Victor from 3 - Beetee, I think - hack into the Panem's databases, and created Hill. Like she was a real person who's always lived in the Capitol. Fake everything. Credit cards, ID's, everything. It took him some time to get me installed here in 12 though."
Peeta and I nod in unison, not knowing how to respond. After a while of silence, Peeta finally speaks up: "Why did you decide to go here, and not home?" She snorts and then pats her belly. "Isn't it obvious? I'm not going to let my child be raised without a father."
"Raze is the father, right?" I ask her. She nods I'm response, blushing hard, probably when she realizes how I knew that.
"I can see you have something going on too," she says, nodding at my belly. I nod, not knowing what else to answer. After that, we all fall silent.

We stay like that for a long time, for what feels like hours, until Ylja finally speaks again; "Why was Raze in denial like that?" I look up from what I've been examining for a while now - Peeta's hands stroking my belly - to meet Ylja's eyes looking straight at me with pure fear. "Is he.. Like.. Does he have someone else?" I almost laugh at the thought of Raze being with someone else than Ylja.
"Trust me, he's not," I answer. "Trust me, he's been miserable ever since he got out of that arena."
A faint smile plays on Ylja's lips, but it quickly disappears. "Then why did he act like that?"
I shake my head. "I have no idea. Maybe he's just afraid of losing you again, and he thinks that if he doesn't believe it, you'll disappear. He hopes that if he doesn't believe in you, you're not going to be there. A sort of self-protection."
"Sounds like you're pretty familiar with this feeling," Peeta mutters under his breath, and I just shrug his comment off.
Even though I am pretty familiar with that feeling. It was one of the many reasons for why I didn't talk to Peeta for the first two months of my pregnancy. I was hoping that if I just didn't say the words out loud, the problem would disappear. If I didn't acknowledge the little person growing inside of me, I would wake up from the nightmare that was becoming a mother. Only to protect myself from losing who I knew would become the most important person in the world.

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Hiii.
OMG YOU GUYS TODAY HAS BEEN SUCH A GREAT DAY!
Okay, so I have a lot of exciting stuff to tell you all!!

1. I am currently working on an After Mockingjay story which I am sO EXCITED ABOUT
2. I have come to the conclusion that there is going to be a few more chapters of Mentors, and then there will be one or two more stories after, but I'll explain everything in more detail later🌚
3. I am also working on a Modern Day fic where I am going to write every single chapter before I publish it, so it's probably going to take a while, but it's really good.
4. I officially have a proof reader! She is peetabaesically and she is amazing! She is from now on going to proof read my stories, so that the content I am giving you guys is better quality, because I feel like you guys deserve that🍑

Thank you guys for being the best readers I could ever wish for💕👏😭

🍬I'll hopefully see you soon, and don't forget to comment and vote!🍬
✨Sille