Mentors (An Everlark Fanfic)

Chapter 3

Katniss' POV
(Disclaimer: I know nothing about drinking)

He can't know. It would destroy him. Him knowing that I've been crying all night over him, because he didn't get back, would kill him.

I get why he didn't come back though. I've always just used him for my own survival. If I hadn't taken advantage over his feelings for me, I would be dead right now. I feel so bad for him. He didn't know it was an act. He wasn't involved in mine and Haymitch's code language in the Games. And now, I cuddle with him every single night to fight away the nightmares. I even completely just tounge-slammed him to prove a point. Oh god, what is wrong with me? He is probably so confused. And when I'm not using him, I'm just completely ignoring him. Just like right now. He opens up to me, even though he clearly angry at me, he still feels bad for me. He wants to comfort me, and make me happy, and what do I do?

I fucking shut him out.

I think about walking back to our room, but he deserves the bed more than me. So, I end up in the bar wagon with Haymitch.

I've never had a drink before in my life, but I walk over do the bar, grab a shot, and down it like a boss.

"Whoa, trouble in paradise, sweetheart?" Haymitch chuckles at me in a drunken voice.

"Shut up Haymitch," I snarl at him. The shot tastes horrible, yet I grab another one and down it.

"You're pretty good at that," Haymitch laughs again.

"Shut up Haymitch,"

"How are the tributes?"

"Oh yeah that's right," I say sarcastically, "they're fucking horrible. But you don't that, now do you?" I take a third shot. It's horrible and sour, but I just want to forget.

All the sudden, I'm grabbed by the wrists, and slammed up against the wall.

"Arrgh!" I scream in pain.

"We're fucking horrible? You are the one getting drunk, when we're about to be thrown into an arena, to die!" I look at my attacker. Raze. Of course.

"Let.. go.. off.. me!" I spit out. He is holding me up by the throat, almost making me unable to breathe.

Haymitch is completely paralyzed, just staring at me.

All the sudden, Raze is dragged of off me. He falls down on the floor, and so do I.

I get pulled up into a pair of strong, warm arms wrapping around me.

"Safe it for the arena, Raze," I hear Peeta hissing. I look up into his blue eyes, and then he looks down at me, removing his eyes from a startled Raze.

I look away, because I still feel guilty for doing everything I've done to him.

Raze gets up again, and gives us a weird look, before walking out.

"What exactly were you thinking?" Peeta asks me, letting go of me. A feeling i do not want to feel right now.

"Since when was it a good idea to get drunk right before we reach the Capitol?"

"I'm not drunk," I say back.

"No, but you could have been."

---

When we reach the Capitol, cameras are flashing everywhere. Me and Peeta haven't spoken to each other since the Raze-attack. I want to, but I don't know what to say to him. I just feel really guilty, and I know he does too. He shouldn't though. Everything is my fault.

"Warm up you two!" Effie chimes. None of us reacts. "Come on you two! You can't have bad press! Peeta put your arm around Katniss' waist, and Katniss put your arm around his."