"Do you want cream?"
"Oh, a pee fetish and a food fetish too? Kinky." Despite the fact he was still reminding me of that fateful night at the club, I let out a traitorous laugh. "You'll be lucky if you ever find out what I really like in bed, Roman...
Izzy has a bit of an emotional breakdown in this chapter, get some tissues ready.
I currently have a bad cold so I have plenty if anyone needs some 🤧
Don't forget to vote and comment ❤️
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1 Month Later
This morning was the same as every single one in the last month.
The nature and events of the nightmare were different almost everyday, but it always ended with the same two questions.
Why didn't you save me mama?
Why did you let me die?
A strangled sob left my mouth and my eyes flew open. That soft voice still replayed in my head just like every morning.
I was greeted with the sight of my dimly lit childhood bedroom as I sat up in my bed.
"I'm sorry."
The faint whisper left my mouth and with tears falling down my cheeks, I brought my hand to my stomach. By now I would have been three months pregnant, but instead my stomach was still flat.
I never even got to feel my baby.
I never got to feel my little one.
I didn't even know it was inside me until it was dead.
Now that I wasn't living alone anymore I became used to crying in silence again. So just like every morning, I sat there just succumbing to the pain in my heart as tears fell down my cheeks.
My thoughts were consumed by my baby and the huge ache and hole in my life that could never be filled. Nothing would ever take away the loss, the pain, and the grief that I felt. Nothing will ever replace my baby.
But I didn't deserve it, so it didn't really matter, did it? I didn't deserve this pain to be cured and healed. I didn't deserve to be happy again, because I failed my baby. I was supposed to be the one to care for it, to let it grow inside me. I was it's mother and I let it die.
So I don't deserve to be happy.
Right?
Eventually I ran out of tears so I just sat there staring at the wall across from my bed. It could have been half an hour, an hour, or even longer that I just sat there until my alarm suddenly went off.
My body was on autopilot when I hit stop on the alarm on my phone. Then I got up to go to the bathroom, because it was just another day.
Another day out of a million that I'd have to spend without my baby.
The bleeding stopped a couple of weeks ago so I didn't need to call my mother or my sister every time I went to the bathroom which was good, I guess. But they didn't mind changing my pads for me which definitely saved me from any more mental trauma in my recovery.
