Another few months went by and Susan still didn't pick up Max. Billy was told by Anastasia to not say anything hurtful towards her about it. He kept his word. But he was right. From time to time Anastasia would go to a book store or the library for a few things here and there, she would hide the books from Billy. What she was doing was something for him. Well he went through her things one day and found a paper of a name that he noticed from his younger childhood. Looking everly so confused on why Anastasia would have this person's name in her bag. It's not that he was trying to snoop around he was looking for one of his rings that he had lost and thought maybe it would be in her bag.
Anastasia came home from her job as he was carrying another book, she saw that Billy was holding a paper tightly that it almost was crumpled looking. But he wasn't angry looking. "Hey babe." As she headed to her bag.
"Don't hey babe me."
'He's in one of his moods again.' "Alright, hi Billy.. How was work?"
"Turn around." Gritting his teeth together.
'What now?' Anastasia looked at Billy. "What happened?"
"What is this?" Shaking the paper in his hand.
"A paper." Being a smart ass.
"Fucking stop Anastasia." Shoving it to her chest. "Why the fuck to do you have this persons name on this paper!"
Almost causing her a cut on her chest. She looks at it. "You've been through my bag.. Why?"
"Oh no you bitch, you tell me first."
"If you calm down I will."
"No! I want to know why you have a shit hole of a person's name in your bag!"
"Well you tell me who he is then?"
"He... he was my... my grandfather. On my dad's side. So I ask again, why is the shit hole in your bag?"
She wanted to lie to him, knowing if she did that. It would hurt him more than her. "Please don't get mad.."
Scoffing at her. "Oh mad? How about pissed? How about overly angry right now."
"Then I can't tell you."
"Like fuck you cant! Tell me now or your out."
"What? Are you fucking kidding me right now?"
"Do I look like I'm 'kidding' to you?"
"Wow." Licking her lips. "Fine. I'll leave for now." Standing up he pushed her right back down on the bed. "I said I was leaving Billy."
"You're not leaving that fast. Just tell me and it will all be over with." Pinning her down.
"Your hurting me."
"It will be over if you FUCKING tell ME." He spat out spit not meaning too.
The anger in his eyes, she could tell that his grandfather did something to him. Closing her eyes as she looked away. She caved in. "Three weeks ago I went out with Nikki. I saw this older woman, long blonde hair, head shaped like yours along with a smile." She swallowed so hard. "So I started looking for her. The last person to see your mother was that man." She started to cry because he was hurting her.
It took a moment to click in as the anger calmed down. Her tears touched one of his knuckles, quickly letting go he got off of her. Looking at her and the way he had her pinned down was the way his father had him when he was young. Chills covered his body as he didn't know what to say to her. He grabbed a coat and ran right out of the room.
Anastasia went right after him as he drove off. She knows why he left her. Because he hurt her and the anger took over yet again. Max came out standing right beside Anastasia. "Is he going to be okay?"
"I don't know." Her arm went around Max's shoulder.
They waited for hours, Billy finally did come back but he sat outside smoking two boxes of ciggerrets. Anastasia saw him as she sat right next to him, both of them didn't care about the smoke. "I'm sorry Billy. I just wanted you too have closure on what happened."
"I already fucking told you. She left because she didn't want the shit beaten out of her and she didn't love me."
"That's not true Billy."
"Yes it fucking is Anastasia! Or else she would had found me when I hit 18."
Looking down at the sand. "She would have."
"Shut the fuck up Anastasia, okay I don't want to hear anymore of it. ALRIGHT?!?"
Anastasia stood in front of him. "She didn't because she's dead you ass! I wanted to surprise you. To show you that she did love you and wanted you." Throwing the papers at him. "She died three weeks before you moved." She started to cry again. "She did want you, she did find you. But a storm took her one night. She bought a two bedroom shitty apartment, she got a job that was going to pay her well. She never forgot you. She couldn't call you back. Before she died she wrote a will... A will that never got to you." She turns away from him. "Happy fucking birthday you asshole." Walking back inside.
Papers tossed to him as smoke was blowing in his face by the wind. First a car that she got him... and now this.... she didn't do this because she wanted too or that she had too. She wanted him to have more of a closure in life about his mom. Unfolding the paper it was his mother hand writing.
' My sweet Billy boy.
I promised the day that I gave birth to you , I'd never leave. I know months right now are hard after me leaving for a while. But I promise, I have this new job that I'm working at, they pay shitty but hey, I'm saving every last bit to come and get you my baby boy. I love you so much, You can hate me and be upset with me all you want to be. I hope one day that you will understand, or hell when you have kids of your own that you will understand. I did this because of you, baby. I didn't want to leave without you I swear. By your 12th birthday you'll be home with me. I pray that each night that you are safe and that you know how to really hide from him.
Neil was never like this from the beganing. He was sweet, kind and gave me the world if I asked for it. Then seeing his dad... I have no idea, something clicked.. he was mean all the time hitting me. At first I could handle it because I know how much he loved you.
I love you more than this world my sweet William remember that. Stay strong my baby. I'll see you soon.
Love mama.'
Billy leans back in his chair. "So she never really did mean to leave me." Packing up his things as he headed back in.
