Seventy-One: The Confrontation

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My heart skipped a beat or two the moment the door to the restaurant's private dining room opened. Iniluwa nitong papasok si Louie. He's wearing a midnight blue button-down polo and fitted khaki pants. His hair is done in a neat brush up. He looked so good that it hurts to think that I have lost him even before he became mine.

I had to swallow an imaginary lump in my throat to keep my tears at bay as I watched him walk towards our table.

We're here at an expensive restaurant Mei booked for us. I should've been the happiest girl on the face of the planet if only this was a date. Ang kaso hindi. This is anything but a date.

"I'm sorry for being late," ang wika nito pagkaupo sa aking harapan. He sounded so formal that anyone would think that this is a business meeting.

Parang gusto ko na namang maiyak. How did we drift so far apart in just two months? Where did the Louie, who looked at me so fondly, go?

It has been three days since he got here in Beijing and this is the first time that we get to talk. Like really get to talk. Mei even had to set an appointment so I could meet him.

It hurts to think how from someone who sleeps beside him, I became someone who needs to request an appointment to be able to talk to him.

"Have you ordered anything?" He was eyeing the menu on the table, ni ayaw man lang akong tapunan ng tingin.

"I'm not hungry," ang sabi ko habang nakatitig dito, hoping that he'll look at me, too.

"I am. I haven't had lunch," he said, motioning the waiter to come closer. "How about you?" ang baling nito sa akin matapos nitong makapag-order para sa sarili nito.

Pakiwari ko'y bigla akong napaso nang magtama ang aming mga paningin. It was the very first time that he locked eyes with me since he got here.

"I... I d-don't know. I'm not really hungry," I stuttered.

"Just make it two," he said to the waiter when I refused to order anything for myself.

I had to wait for the waiter to leave the room before I took a deep breath, getting myself ready for the much-awaited confrontation.

"W-what happened, Louie?" I blurted out when I finally gained the courage. "Why are you filing for divorce already?"

"I'm sorry," he said, holding up my gaze. He's sporting a deadpan expression yet his eyes were betraying him. It shadows a lot of emotions he was trying so hard to conceal. "But we both know that what we have is temporary. It's clear from the very start that what goes between the two of us has to end, one way or another."

"But it's not even two years yet. The contract wasn't supposed to expire yet," ang salungat ko sa bahagyang gumagaralgal na boses.

"Things happened, Aera. Plans changed," he said as he darted his eyes somewhere else, once again avoiding my gaze. He fixed his vision in nothing in particular. "Don't worry, you'll still get the agreed amount in full."

"Putangina, Louie! Alam kong alam mong hindi ito tungkol sa pera!" I yelped at him. Even myself was surprised by my sudden outburst.

He looked stunned, too. Agad itong napabaling sa akin na tila nabigla sa biglang pagtaas ng aking boses.

For a moment, he looked like he didn't know what to say. Noon muling bumukas ang pintuan ng private dining room at saka pumasok ang waiter dala-dala ang isang pitsel ng malamig na tubig. Namayani ang katahimikan sa loob ng kwarto habang nagsasalin ito ng tubig sa mga baso.

The waiter excused himself again after telling us that our food will be ready in a short while.

"I know you are going through a lot right now," ang sabi ko sa mas kalmado ng boses nang makalabas na ulit yung waiter. "But please know that you don't have to push me away. Hindi mo kailangang sarilinin lahat. Andito naman ako. Sasamahan kita. Please, Louie, I'm begging you. Please let me stay with you as you face whatever you're going through right now." I was trying my hardest not to cry.

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