Rose bed of lies

30.

Zack

I walked out of Emma's room a while ago.  Maybe I had overreacted. Sure there's a possibility that she actually didn't feel good.

But I know what I heard, she forced her fucking fingers down her throat for sure, And with the Treadmill incident this morning, something isn't right. The way she was acting, was all-too-familiar.

I stopped spinning in my desk chair and stared at my laptop. Finally, I began searching up eating disorders,  there was a brief discussion about them in health class.  And I had wanted to look them up a long time ago, but I just couldn't bring myself to, after everything that happened.

Tons of Articles and different sites came up, honestly, it was overwhelming. Eating Disorders had some of the highest death rates of mental illnesses. After jumping from page to page, A lot of the stories were graphic. I stumbled onto something called pro-ana, It was sickening that people encouraged each other, to sign their own death notes.

Guess that makes me sound like a real hypocrite though, I couldn't help but think back to when I caught her in the act.

I had never seen her so chaotic, with makeup smudged, and hair sticking to her face. usually, she smelled like honey and wildflowers, maybe roses, sometimes like fresh linen, you know when you first get clothes out of the dryer. that sweet and clean scent was masked by vomit.  good thing I dealt with my drunk friends a lot. so the smell didn't bother me too much.

nonetheless, she was still somehow pretty? The whites of her eyes were now tinted red which only made the blue Of them pop out more, they were piercing like electricity, Her lips were swollen and her cheeks flushed. for once her smile flauter, Emma may have been lying through her teeth, but The guilt-ridden expression she wore, said it all.

My head was beginning to hurt from looking at this damn screen. maybe it was from trying to figure out why I cared so much. I hate her,
always have, and always will. it only bothers me because it feels like a sick reminder.

I had already made dinner earlier, which was just some minestrone soup, it just means a big bowl of soup, there's no set recipe for it. Which makes it all the more fun. I have it simmering for the time being.

Although I should probably call Emma for dinner, how do I even approach the situation? if she doesn't have any issue with food, then soup should make her feel better.

I let out a deep breath I didn't realize I was holding. hopped off the chair and made my way to Emma room.  After stalling for who knows how long, I knock on her door, no answer.

I opened it up and walked in her room, the lights were still on but she was past out in bed, all cuddled up. I contemplated not waking her up, but decided she needed something to eat before bed. 

"Emma" I  nudged,  sound asleep. She was so peaceful her hair was slightly damp.. i observed every little  detail about her. Mentally tracing her  all features. She didn't look too much different from when she had makeup on, A little paler maybe. Her eyelashes were dark and long which complemented the crystals that are her so-called eyed.

OK now I'm just fucking creepy.
Get it over with and wake the girl up, it's not that hard. I was still irritated when I came in here. But now all have that had faded, what the hell happened?

"Emma.. Wake up" I put my hand on her shoulder and lightly shook it. But stopped almost instantly. her blanket started to slip down.
showing the top of her tits just Barely. Shit is she's not wearing anything? I moved my hand towards the blanket to pull it back up.

Her eyes shot opened and she practically jump away from me, her hands tightly gripping the blanket around her small frame.

Emma look genuinely scared. Her breathing is all over the place.

"Are you okay?" is that the right thing to ask

She cleared her throat. Her eyes never leaving mine.

"of course I'm okay. Did you need something?"

"I just wanted to tell you dinners ready, I made soup to help you feel better"

"Oh, um thank you" her words felt empty

"I'll uh leave so you can get dressed, unless you want me to stay" I gave her a playful wink trying to lighten up the mood

Her face got so red so fast, it was kind of hilarious.

"get out already" she's shoved herself deeper in to the blanket fortress

"Fineeeee"

It's been like ten minutes since I talked with Emma. I made two smaller bowls of soup. I handed one too zoe. And put the other in emmas spot. I was about to call her down again but heard foot steps.

I looked over in the direction They came from. And there she was.  her long hair still damp, like damn how long does it take to dry? It appeared. That she may have put some make up on, but what was the point of that, she's gonna go to sleep soon anyway.

She was wearing some fancy-looking pajamas, is that even comfortable?

"Emma! Your PJs are so pretty" Zoe lit up as soon as she saw her. It's not like Emma's been here long but, they've become pretty close. Which I wasn't necessarily happy about

"Thank you sweetheart" her smile was different when zoe was around.

it annoyed me that everyone always seem to be looking at her, I got that she was pretty but still it didn't make sense for the infatuation with her, well until now, here I was in the same trace, she didn't feel real, she was on a different level then everyone else, this was how they felt. People loved the idea of her.
But I could see through it.

I used to always want to ruin her, somehow expose to everyone that she wasn't that great.

But in this moment I watched her hold a spoon with shaking hands. Was this really what I wanted to expose to the town.

Hey guys I hope you liked this page, it's unedited and I know it might be a bit boring, but it's a work in progress