Everchanging

Shizu

!!TW!! Abuse, alcoholism, suicidal thoughts/ideation, suicide/self-harm

How do I start this? Do I introduce myself? Will anyone ever read this for me to need to introduce myself?

Anyway, my name is Shizu. I wish I could've started writing in this before now, but beggars can't be choosers. I have two kids, Sanemi and Genya. Sanemi is 5 and Genya is only a month old. I love them both so much. More than words could ever describe. They are both so cute and so sweet that I can't help but wonder where they got it from.

I hope they grow big and healthy. That's why I'm writing here. I want to remember every moment with my loves. So, help me out. Yeah?

"Mommy! Mommy look!" A voice brought her attention away from the pages, looking down to see downy white hair and bright violet eyes. A smile itched its way onto her face as she reached down to lift her son, setting the child on her lap so she could see him better. Sanemi's face was flushed with activity, his cheeks pink and forehead sweaty but that didn't stop him from snuggling up to his mother. "I made this at school for Genya!"

A messy cut out project made of paint and construction paper was shoved into her face. Shizu couldn't quite get what it was but her heart warmed, nonetheless.

"What is it, sweetheart?" She hummed, rocking the boy in her lap. She could hear her husband rooting around in the kitchen, the youngest in the family due for a bottle any moment now.

"It's a flower! Tengen helped me pick out a color just like Genya's eyes!" Sanemi's eyes were sparkling with excitement. He was the happiest out of all of them when they found out they would have a second child in the house. Sanemi had always wanted a little brother, so it wasn't difficult to acclimate the boy to the new baby in the house. In fact, the boy wouldn't leave the youngest alone for more than ten minutes. "Can I give it to him, mommy? Can I?"

"Of course, sweety. Genya should be waking up any moment now." Shizu stood with her son on her hip, leaving the room to head to the crib and sure enough wide violet eyes stared back at them. Genya was an easy baby, he hardly cried and stayed where you put him. Shizu and Kyogo both figured out rather quickly that they had to make a schedule to feed the boy because the baby wouldn't alert them to his hunger. It was worrying, but they made it work.

She slipped her hands under the infant's warm body, lifting him to be cradled at her breast. Sanemi was scrambling to sit in her lap so he could be closer to his little brother. Kyogo emerged from the kitchen with a warm bottle in his hand and a rag in the other.

Their nights continued to pass like this, complete bliss. Sanemi babbled to his younger brother about his creation and Kyogo sat beside them. Shizu couldn't help but smile, how had she gotten so lucky?

—

Today is Genya's first day of daycare. I'm so scared but also so excited. I want my baby to make friends. He's so sweet that I just know he's going to be popular. He finally got a haircut for his curly hair, so he looks so cute.

Sanemi's been helping him get ready for the day. I can only hope that it goes well. Kyogo's not being very optimistic but that's just how he always is.

Mommy's cheering you on Genya baby! Go do your best!

Shizu wiped away her misty eyes as she watched her boys go. Sanemi held onto Genya's hand as both of them made their way the short distance to the daycare and elementary school. Shizu huffed out a laugh when Genya turned back around, big eyes wide with tears and his lips wobbling. The boy waved his hand wildly until Shizu returned the gesture.

"Finally, They're gone." Kyogo huffed, rubbing through his hair before turning back to the house. His shoulders were slumped, and his steps were more of stomps. Shizu's brows pinched slightly as she followed her husband.