Everchanging

Kiss Me, Please

!!TW!! Flashbacks of Heavy Child Abuse

"I love you."

There was a solid moment of silence when Sanemi thought he was dreaming. He had to be, there was no other explanation. He went from sobbing his eyes out, thinking his friendship with Giyuu was over, to the damn man revealing his soul to Sanemi. Now...Now he was...

"That's not funny." There was no other explanation, this had to be some kind of sick joke. He needed to leave, to get far away from the other before he vomited his own heart out. "Don't fuck with me, Tomioka."

Anger flourished in his stomach and Sanemi felt sick. He needed to leave. He couldn't stay here. Not when Tomioka was mocking him for something that Sanemi had barely even had time to accept. Taking a shuddering breath, Sanemi stood from his seat and marched out of his baby brother's room. He could hear Tomioka following behind him, the man stuttering something, but Sanemi couldn't care less. No. He cared too much.

And that bastard was mocking him .

"No, Shinazugawa! It's not–"

"How did you even figure it out?! Am I that fucking pathetically obvious?!" Sanemi breathed a self-deprecating laugh. Suika and Yuka had both awoken from their naps, following Sanemi's rushing steps until a hand grabbed his own. He was stopped and turned in the kitchen, his back pressing against the counter as he refused to look Giyuu in the eyes. "Don't fucking mock me. Not you. Anyone but you, you bastard."

Sanemi was begging. He would beg. He could take it from just about anyone else, but not Giyuu. He was the only man that Sanemi felt sound in his feelings for, he felt safe to love him, he couldn't take any amount of mocking from the other man. His heart would eat him alive and shatter beneath his feet.

"I'm not mocking you. I'd never joke about something like this, never to you Shinazugawa." Giyuu's voice was soothing and calm, trying to goad the other man to look at him but Sanemi's gaze remained on their joined hands. The touch should burn, Sanemi should hate it. He should pull away and hide. But he didn't want to. He didn't want to have to hide from Giyuu. "Look at me, Shinazugawa."

A sweet palm cupped his cheek with such gentleness Sanemi could cry but he just bit his lip and pinched his eyes shut. He would break apart if he looked into the other man's eyes. He couldn't take it.

"Don't fuck with me. Please , don't fuck with me–"

"Sanemi." His first name felt like a breath of fresh air coming from Giyuu's lips. The syllables danced on his tongue and Sanemi thanked his mother for the name. It sounded so beautiful when the other man said it. "Look at me, please?"

The blue engulfed him, Sanemi was at its mercy when he finally met Giyuu's gaze. Those eyes could rip him apart, eat him whole, and Sanemi would let them. Giyuu held the power to destroy Sanemi and he didn't know if that was a bad thing or not.

Giyuu smiled at the other man, his thumb coming up to wipe across his cheek. Something like guilt bled into his features but his blue irises came back to pin Sanemi back in place. A smooth rush of air left both men as they just looked at one another.

"I didn't mean to startle you like this. I didn't mean to blurt this out like that." Giyuu's hand gently brushed down Sanemi's skin until he was cupping his jaw and Sanemi wondered when he had so easily let people touch him so casually. No one else had ever gotten that luxury, only Giyuu. Something about the other man made him feel relaxed. He made Sanemi feel safe. "But I meant what I said. Every word and more. I'm not mocking you; I would never mock you."

Sanemi wondered if he was what 'home' was supposed to feel like. A return point that cushioned the fall and calmed the air. When the world was too loud and angry, was home supposed to feel like Giyuu? Perfect and safe.