Everchanging

Missing Her

!!TW!! Talk of CSA/SA, Talk of CSA child psychology/coping, Talk of signs of CSA, Vomiting/Purging, Eating Disorder Triggering Behavior (not exactly related to ED), Panic Attack/PTSD Triggers

Suzune slept in Genya's bed, Yuka tucked in the baby's neck as she napped along with him. Suika had sniffed the two suspiciously, licking the sleeping child's head before he hopped off his person's bed. His claws tapped on the floor as he shoved the cracked door open, making a beeline for one person in particular. The boy was sitting on the couch, his black hair messy and his cheeks a little flushed but that always seemed to be the case.

Genya rested his hand on the dog's head as Suika hopped up on the couch to lay on top of his lap, the dog licking the boy a few times before settling. Genya petted his fingers over the fur as Suika's eyes glued onto the adult stranger in their home. Kitakura fiddled with his fingers, watching while Sanemi sat down with some cups and snacks, placing them on the coffee table that separated the brothers from the man.

"I..." Genya finally started only because the silence had become too much for him. His mind was running in circles, trying to make sense of what the man could possibly want from Genya of all people. "I don't know where to start."

And that was the funny thing, was there ever a place to start in all of this? What could be considered the start ? Would it be the day that Kyogo went on a first date with Miyano? Would it be the day she first met Genya? Or maybe the first night she laid her fingers on him? Or did Kitakura want to hear about the beginning of the end; the night she broke in and tied Genya's friends up and tried to put on a show for them? Where was the start?

"I–" Kitakura stumbled, clenching his hands tighter until they trembled but maybe they had always been trembling. Genya wasn't sure. He sucked in a deep breath that shook at the ends before he doubled over. His nose touched his knees, bowing before the boy in front of him. "I'm so sorry for everything my wife put you through. I'm sorry that all of this had to happen. I– I'm so so sorry."

This was weird, now that Genya really thought about it. None of this made much sense. Shouldn't Kitakura be mad at Genya for tempting his wife? Kyogo had been, he had been so angry at Genya for what he and Miyano did, and he had just been dating the woman. So Kitakura should be furious at Genya for doing the same with the man's wife .

But he was apologizing, for what? Genya didn't know. Was he apologizing for Miyano's actions or for marrying the woman? Was he apologizing for everything or just for the most recent incident? Kitakura didn't make sense, Genya came to the conclusion.

"What for?" Genya watched as the man sniffled, his shoulders tucking in, and his voice pinched. He didn't know what to do, what did Kitakura want from him?

"I..." The man trailed off, his eyes glancing to the side but never looking at Genya. "I had no idea. I didn't know what kind of person she truly was, and I promise that I wouldn't have married her if I had known."

Was he apologizing for marrying her? But that didn't make sense either. Kitakura couldn't have known, Miyano had made sure of that, and Genya had never been mad at the man for falling in love. In fact, the feeling he felt was more akin to pity. He pitied the man for marrying Miyano. He pitied him for falling in love.

"Was she nice?" It was confusing trying to imagine a version of Miyano that felt more human. He didn't think he could ever see Miyano as anything more than the monster that plagued his body and his dreams. "Did you love her?"

"I did. She was the love of my life, the mother of my child."

"We'll have the family we've always wanted, yeah? I'll be such a good wife for you, a good mother." Her eyes were pleading, she smiled wobbly. "I'll forgive you for what happened tonight. It's okay, you were nervous. So come on, baby."