Everchanging

Love Me

!!TW!! Use of Deadname, Vague discussions of Homo/Transphobia (no actual phobia is depicted)

He could remember the blinding fear that coursed through his veins when he had first come out to his family. It was a lot like now, his brain conjuring up a million and one outcomes for just one topic. Would Sanemi accept this? Would he not? Would this end up horribly? Or would nothing change?

When Giyuu had first told his family about this, it was obvious that his adopted father didn't really understand at first, but he didn't care as long as Giyuu was happy. Sabito and Makomo were naturally supportive. But surprisingly, it was Tsutako who had taken the longest to come around.

She wasn't upset about her sister becoming a brother. She was more stuck on the name change. She was saddened that Giyuu would willingly give up the name that their late parents had gifted him. How else were they going to remember them if not by their names?

And honestly, it had taken him a long time to think of a name. Because of Tsutako, he was reluctant to part with the name his parents had chosen.

They had named their baby girl Yuuna for her gentleness. And if Giyuu was being sure, he did really like the name. He did have a sort of connection to it, but not the one he wanted. So, he changed it a little.

He kept the first syllable, changing Yuuna into Gi yuu . He changed his gentleness into his parents' courage. Yuuna meant gentleness, but Giyuu would forever mean courage because he would never forget what his parents sacrificed so he could be here to this day.

Standing in front of Sanemi's front door, with drying tears still mottling his face, Giyuu thought of his parents. He thought of their courage and his gentleness, and he breathed. Whatever may come, he still had his parents' courage built into his name.

"Shinazugawa?" He spoke to the closed door, knocking lightly. The other man had to be there; they had seen each other not even two hours ago when Giyuu had kicked him out. He still held the photo album that had sparked all of this in his hand. However, no matter how much he knocked, an answer never came.

He was prepared to tuck tail and run in failure when he heard a light noise from inside. His eyebrows pinched and something coiled in his stomach as he pressed his ear to the door. Then, once more, the sound filtered through and chilled his heart with pain.

It was a sniffle. Sanemi was crying.

And it wasn't like Giyuu had never seen Sanemi cry, but this time was different because the cause was Giyuu. This time hurt a million times more than all of the others because Sanemi was crying because of him .

The pain spurred him, and a warmth pushed him, placing his hand on the doorknob to find that Sanemi hadn't even locked the door. It was a little detail that served to bring a shuddering breath to his mouth. Sanemi always locked his door, especially after everything with Miyano. The man would rather die than leave the door unlocked, even if he was still home. He even made sure to drill that habit into both Genya and Giyuu when they were home as well.

But he left the door unlocked. Like he was waiting for Giyuu to come.

He pushed the door open, making sure to kick his shoes off clumsily as he stumbled into the house. Now that he was inside, it was obvious that the other man was crying somewhere in the home. The whimpers were more audible, clear in the silence in the walls.

Sanemi wasn't in the living room, nor the kitchen. Giyuu made sure to check the bathroom and even the man's own room. But Sanemi was nowhere to be found, but Giyuu could hear him. After checking the whole home, it was obvious where the man was hiding, in Genya's room. Somewhere that brought him comfort, someone who made him happy.