Everchanging

Move Mountains

!!TW!! Accidental self-harm, mourning, panic attacks, vomit, murder, nightmare, prison hierarchy/violence, vague CSA

"Really? Kaigaku made these?" Tanjiro gaped around the mouthful of muffin he had stolen from his sister. Nezuko eyed her brother meanly before scooting closer to Kanao, who she knew wouldn't steal food from anyone. "Wow, these are amazing!"

"Nah, my mom was the one who made them. I just kinda tested the batter." The boy shrugged, noticeably sitting close to his brother instead of near the others. Genya had gone into the kitchen to ask Giyuu something after noticing his brother had disappeared into his room. Senjuro had followed his friend like a puppy, which left the others in the living room.

"I didn't know you could bake." Muichirou mumbled, his fingers petting the sleeping kitten lazily. He was only half-tuned into the conversation, not really interested in Kaigaku's family affairs. Inosuke, however, zeroed in on the other boy. His green eyes staring dagger into him, trying to read the boy accurately.

"Yes, it is pretty surprising. I wouldn't take you for a baker." Kanao smiled, peacefully taking one of the snacks and handing some of it to Inosuke, soothing the boy's nerves a little with food. "It's rather cute."

It was a cute hobby, one that none of them expected from Kaigaku. The boy flushed pink, huffing like a pouting cat as his eyes turned away to look at the wall. Zenitsu grinned, leaning on his brother as he laughed loudly. He was relishing in this gang hazing.

"Yeah, he's been baking since he was a toddler. I remember when we were little, my mom and him would bake all the desserts for Christmas." It was a fond memory, one that both boys cherished. Something ached in both of their chests, but Zenitsu laughed it off. "But don't ask him to cook. He'll burn the house down."

"Do you really bake for Christmas every year? That's so sweet!" Nezuko laughed, her face a coral pink. It was one of her cutest expressions, Zenitsu thought. When she was unabashedly enthused, her face flushed with glee.

"Nah, I stopped doing that when...back when I was still little." Kaigaku waved his hand, as if that would shoo away the memory. "I was the only person in the house that could bake, and it was too difficult for a little kid to do alone. So, my grandpa would just order a cake from somewhere instead."

To be truthful, Kaigaku had tried his hardest. After Satsuki had died, Kaigaku had tried so damned hard to keep her memory alive. He may have had many memories with his aunt but baking with her was the warmest one. After she died, it felt like the house was physically heavy.

And Kaigaku was so tired of the air being heavy, he wanted everyone to just move on. So, when months had passed and everyone was still drowning in their grief, Kaigaku realized Christmas was coming around the corner. He thought that it would be his chance to fix everything. That maybe it would cheer Zenitsu and Grandpa up to taste Satsuki's baking again in time for their favorite holiday.

So, Kaigaku got to work. Well, he had tried. But as he tried attempt after attempt, he became more and more aware of the missing presence beside him. Logically, he knew the recipe, but something felt missing.

"Here, Kai. Try this, does it taste right?"

"Oop, you have whip cream on your face!"

Something he did with his aunt suddenly became something he did alone. Like everything else in his life, it became a solitary activity. Seven attempts at making a cake and it never turned out right and it felt so lonely in that kitchen. Like Satsuki had never been there to begin with, like Kaigaku had always been alone from the start.

The person who made losing his own mom easier was now gone and now he was left to stare into a bowl of settling whip cream. It felt like every tether he had suddenly became undone and the red stain of the strawberries looked too much like blood on his hands.