Everchanging

Still Here

!!TW!! Misgendering/Deadname(?)[Flashback], Discussion of Parent Death, Discussions of child suicidal thoughts, FASD, bullying, SA/Rape

The car was weaving down the streets, gentle as it passed over speedbumps, and both children watched as the pretty houses flew by the windows. None of the houses were nearly as big nor as pretty as their home but Yuuna decided that she liked the pastel colors on the buildings. Tsutako clung tightly onto her little sister's hand, nervous as they neared a destination. The tunes playing on the radio reminded her of the last time they went to a tattoo convention with their mommy, and that reminded her that they no longer had a mommy.

"Now that we're almost there, do you want me to tell you a little bit about your new friends?" The nice man driving, Urokodaki, spoke of adoption and foster care but neither child understood what he was talking about. But he had said that all they needed to know was that he was on their side, that he would help them with whatever they wanted. They would try to contact other family and maybe the sisters would be able to live with them from now on but, until then, Urokodaki had welcomed the Tomiokas into his home. "It's nothing scary, I promise."

"Does that mean we have new brothers and sisters?" Yuuna perked up from her seat, a smile bright on her chubby face. Tsutako couldn't help but get a little annoyed with how easily the six-year-old was adapting to this. It was like Yuuna couldn't understand that mommy and daddy were never coming back. Like the child didn't comprehend what they had lost and the finality of it. It made Tsutako feel even more alone.

"If you want to, Yuuna." The man hummed in the front seat, pulling into a driveway and parking. He was kind, and Tsutako felt reminded of her daddy. He had been kind too, and she didn't think she would ever forget his kindness. Or his dead corpse, blood pooling on the pretty tiles and unmoving. "Tsutako? Is everything okay?"

"Huh?" The girl looked up, peeling her hand from her sister's as she stared into the man's gentle gaze. "Yeah, 'm fine."

"Are you sure? We can take a minute, just chill before we go in." He shrugged like it wasn't a big deal. But it was. It was the biggest deal, bigger than anyone could ever understand. Tsutako's mommy and daddy were dead and gone, and now she had to move on. Like nothing ever happened. But something did. Something did happen. And now she didn't have a mommy or a daddy.

"I know this is a lot of change at once and I'm sorry that you two girls have to go through this." Urokodaki unbuckled himself so he could turn around in his seat. He didn't touch them, just leveling them with such a kind face that Tsutako felt something visceral in her guts. "I don't want to replace your mommy or daddy, and my kids don't want to be anything you don't want them to be. We're all here for whatever you want us to be, whether that's just for care or anything else is all up to you two."

"I wanna go home." Tsutako whimpered and she could see how the man's expression tilted closer to pity. "I wanna see my mommy and daddy."

There was a moment of silence where she could see how Urokodaki tried to pick what to say. She could hear Yuuna sniffle next to her, feel her small hand grab her own as the man stepped out of the car. For a second, Tsutako thought that he had decided not to touch this topic and just went into the house, but then her car door opened, and she watched as the man kneeled beside her.

"I... You two have lost a lot in the last month and I can't imagine ever being in your shoes." His voice was smooth, it reminded the girl of the voice her daddy used when he would read to Yuuna past their bedtime. "I can't tell you to move on, because that's not right. But... I will listen to whatever either of you want to say. I will be here for you two, no matter what. If you want to scream or cry, if you want to go do something or just be alone, I'll be there for that."