la douleur exquise🌙

24• The storm

-2017

As soon as Lou pulled over near their house, she immediately noticed the black Rolls-Royce parked near the driveway and stared at it for a few moments too long. She wondered what George Ocean was doing at her house this late at night if it was him who owned that car. The same car belonged to her father-in-law so he naturally came to mind first.

She didn't know why, but she felt an unplaceable sense of unease bubbling up inside her. This was a feeling she hadn't had in a very long time.

Debbie didn't know she was back. Lou wanted to surprise her wife that's why she didn't tell her she'd be coming home today. Sadly her flight was delayed, which is why she came back this late.

Lou made her way to the front door, unlocked it, and let herself in. Empty bottles and glasses scattered on the table and the floor in the open-plan living area welcomed her. The living room is well lit with the lights left on. She's probably too drunk from the party they had, Lou thought but she felt herself tensing. She snapped back to reality when the phone on the table rang. Whose phone was that? She picked up the phone and answered it.

//
"Hello."

"Lou?"

"Tammy, oh it's your phone."

"You're back! Yeah, that's mine, I forgot it. I was too drunk and didn't realize that I left it. By the way, Debbie didn't know you were coming back today right? She's been waiting for your call all day you know. She missed you."

"I just came back now, don't worry I'll keep your phone safe. And yeah, I wanted to surprise her so I didn't tell her that I'll be returning today."

Oh, she'll definitely be thrilled knowing you return. I'll come back tomorrow morning for my phone. Or maybe at lunch? I don't want to disturb you two if ever.

Lou can hear Tammy snickering on the other line. Silly! But she smiled at the thought. She missed her wife so much that she wanted nothing but to cuddle with her and wrap her arms around her wife all day. "Kay. Suit yourself."

"Thanks, Lou. Bye. Enjoy your night."
//

Lou made a deep sigh as she put the phone back on the table. What were you thinking Lou? After taking off her coat, she placed it neatly on the couch, positioned her suitcase near it, then went to the kitchen and grabbed some water from the fridge.

The mess in the kitchen was worse than that of the living area from all the party food. Debbie must be tired from all this. Why did she even host a dinner party without me? I guess cuddling all day can wait. All this mess needed to be cleaned first. The clock on the wall tells her it's a quarter to twelve and she's feeling exhausted from the sleepless nights and her more than five-hour flight. She was exhausted but relieved that she was finally home to her wife.

Lou decided to climb upstairs. Her body desperately needed rest and she couldn't wait to lie down in her own bed. As soon as she reached the last step of the stair she felt the blood drain from her body when she heard voices in the room. Her room.

No. No! It can't be. She was shaking her head in disbelief as she slowly walked toward the door. She stood there in shock and on the edge of breaking down. Muffled moans could be heard behind it, the voice that was so familiar to her ears, and she felt like her lungs desperately needed air because it was getting increasingly difficult for her to breathe.

Lou closed her eyes before turning her back on the door. The tears in her eyes threatened to fall and she wanted nothing but to get away from that place but she couldn't move, she just stood there frozen. Unable to move.

She wanted to scream. She wanted to punch something hard until it broke. She wanted to throw objects against that door to release the pent-up emotions she had. The pain and anger she was feeling.

But she didn't.

She felt like the world was crumbling in front of her in slow motion as her heart shattered into millions of pieces.

Who are you kidding Lou? She wasn't yours. And her knees gave in. Lou collapsed on the floor. She didn't know how long she stayed there sitting in front of her room. Lou closed her eyes and lost herself in tears that she could no longer contain. A forced smile plastered on her lips as she chuckled at the thought, She was never yours. Stop fooling yourself.

The foolishness she now had to pay the price for. Loving your best friend more than you are allowed to. And she would pay that price.

I don't want to do this anymore.

I can no longer do this Debbie.

I wanted to be free of all this. It's... too much, too painful.

She wiped her falling tears, doing her best to fight them off, and moved silently forcing herself to stand up. She then walked through her office to collect what few things she'd need before she left. Calling her legal team, she asked for the documents she needed and told them to deliver them by dawn.

And now she was holding the divorce papers, staring at them longer than she should have. Folding her hand over her chest tapping it softly, consoling her heart. Stop being a pathetic loser. Let her go now. You no longer have a reason to be her wife. She still loves him. It was a losing battle from the start Lou. Let's give it up now.

Alex is the only one Debbie had a serious relationship with. And in all five years they were together, Debbie was never been interested in anyone. Or so just how she thought. That's why Lou's always been jealous of him. Because she knows Alex had the only thing she had ever wished for. Debbie's heart.

When she stepped out of her office, she saw Alex leaving. Alex looked at her with a disgusting smirk. "You are back. Debbie told me you were not responding to her messages. If we knew you'd be coming back today we wouldn't... we wouldn't do it here. You know she wouldn't want to hurt you."

Lou's hands were clenched tightly inside her pocket. "I don't remember asking you. Now leave my house, before I put a bullet in that head of yours," she responded with a stoic and surprisingly calm voice. Despite the fact that she was shaking and dying on the inside. If you ever hurt her again. You'll die in my hands, Wyler.

°°°

Lou blinks the tears away as they gather around her eyes, pulling herself out of that memory.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, or so they say, and five years of it? But for Lou, she can only remember the unspeakable pain and longing.

It was five years ago when Lou's life began to move in a blur. It felt like that to her at least. She spent those years moping in her lab with her computers. Her way of running away from the unwanted emotions she still felt. Pouring out her misery and unfulfilled yearnings into her works and research. She was the brain of Candy the one working behind the scene.

For the first months after leaving New York, she was broken beyond repair. She became invested in her work and obsessed to the point that she neglected her health for years until she broke down hard and was hospitalized. Then she realized she would never remain sane if she remembered everything. She has to move on and forget about her.

***

A/n: ✌