la douleur exquise🌙

52• Let's go home

When Lou walked out of the elevator into the dim underground parking structure a few feet away from her car, she saw someone leaning against her car. The blonde looked quite justifiably surprised when she recognized who it was. Debbie.

"Lou," Debbie whispered, her eyes trained on her wife's haggard face. She stared at her wife for a long moment. Her ocean blue eyes looks tired and weary. Debbie felt a sense of deep worry for her. Both of them were quite a pair. She held the urge to envelop her in a tight warm hug.

The blonde stood frozen on her feet as her wife approach her slowly. "What are you doing here, Deb?"

"I came to check up on you," Debbie replied softly but Lou pursed her lips and looked away.

"I thought I told you I'd call you." Lou's voice was cold and too casual.

Hearing her indifferent tone, Debbie found it hard to say what she wanted. "You took too long. And here I thought you'd be happy to see me," she said in a weak voice. 

Lou looked away, not wanting to see disappointment in Debbie's eyes. "I've been swamped with work. I need to oversee important projects for a while and..." The explanation fits nicely with Lou's work emergency fantasy so well. 

Debbie chuckled when she heard her lame excuse and cut her off. "Don't give me that work excuse bullshit Lou. You're avoiding me and I want to know why. Why are you doing this to me?" Debbie asked dejectedly.

Lou sighed. "I'm not doing anything to you Deb. I am merely taking care of my company."

The sarcasm in Lou's tone used up Debbie's last bit of patience. "I don't give a fuck about your work or your goddamn company Lou. For fuck's sake I am your wife! We just got back together after five years. Now you tell me, what the hell is going on?" Debbie's voice was raised almost to a yell at the end of the sentence. "Tell me why you are doing this to me." It was a command, not a question and Debbie wasn't sure she could stop herself from shaking Lou to get it out of her.

"I was wondering what I had done wrong this time. I thought about all the things I said and did. Questioning if it was my fault and if I had made a mistake. My mind is full of questions that I do not know the answers to, and it's killing me. I... I don't think I deserve this Lou."

Debbie wasn't a good-tempered person, and Lou knows it very well so she wasn't surprised when she started shouting at her. Lou closed her eyes and took a shaky breath. She felt her throat tighten and her eyes burn with unshed tears. She pinched them for a moment then turned back to Debbie with a guilty look. "I'm so sorry, Deb. You are the most important person in my life and I would never intentionally hurt you. You know that, don't you?"

Debbie shakes her head. "But you did. To me, you aren't someone I can put on hold for days without a word. I would never do that because you're too precious for me to hurt you like that. But that's exactly what you're doing to me!"

"It wasn't like that Deb. Please." Lou took a deep breath, hoping her concealed tears would not roll down her cheeks in front of Debbie.

"Then why? Tell me. I have been waiting for you to tell me your reasons, Lou. I threw down my pride and came here despite knowing you're dying to avoid me. I love you so much, to a truly stupid degree. How can you ignore me and treat me like this after what happened between us? You're awful!"

"What? Awful?" Lou chuckled softly in response to Debbie's words. "Are you drunk baby?" She asked when she noticed her flushed cheeks.

Debbie shook her head, feeling a wave of anger coursing through her. "No, I'm not drunk," she said, her voice quivering. "And yes, you're too awful. I don't think I can do this anymore!" Of course, she didn't mean it but she's drunk so her words have no filter. Debbie took a step back and turned around to walk away from her.