la douleur exquise🌙

39• Would it really be so wrong?

You think I'll be with someone who can't satisfy me, Lou?

Lou scoffed as she walked down the floating stairs. Right, she'll never settle for any less. She closed her eyes and laughed, a soft, disbelieving chuckle. Sure she wants you. But desire is different from love. You'll never be enough for her.

Laughable. Her subconscious mocked. How can you let yourself still be affected by that?

Somewhere, in the darker parts of her mind, she assures herself that it's for the better— Debbie deserves someone better. She deserves to be happy.

The food is ready and spread out on the table. The blonde stares down at her plate, her appetite gone and just poking at her food with a fork while waiting for Debbie. Too many thoughts rolled around in her head.

By the time Debbie walked into the kitchen, there were no more traces of tears in her eyes. Instead, she wore a resigned and tired expression. She tried her best to recompose herself but she still looked distant, hollow and Lou was no different.

"Penny for your thoughts," Debbie said casually as she plopped down in the chair directly across from Lou. She could keep a fake charade up. She had to go with it and try to have a casual conversation with the girlfriend of her step-sister.

"Uhh, you're here." Lou's fingers traced the edge of the glass absently. "Dig in. You must be hungry. You didn't have breakfast."

And there was silence again.

"Lou," Debbie says quietly, gently breaking through Lou's intrusive thoughts. "Tell me what's on your mind."

There are a lot of things that Lou could say— dark, unsettling, painful things she's been holding onto. Debbie said she'd want to know, but Lou still fought against it, still certain that whatever she could say would be too much of a burden to plant inside Debbie's heart. She inwardly scolded herself and decided that she shouldn't dwell on the past.

Instead, she settles for something that can change the air around them. "I was thinking about what to wear to the party tomorrow."

Debbie let a quiet laugh leave her mouth. "Said by the one who has a massive closet full of colorful suits?"

The mood became lighter.

Lou smiled seeing the curve of a smile on Debbie's lips. "I didn't bring any for the occasion. So, I was thinking of doing some shopping tomorrow. The party will be at 7 PM, right? So, we will have plenty of time."

"We? I already have a dress for tomorrow's event. I'm not planning on buying anything else," she said, picked up her fork and began to eat.

"Hmm, you'll come with me. I'll be bored alone, so you should accompany me."

"Miss Miller, I am not a clown to entertain you while you shop. Just ask someone else. You could ask any woman to join you and for sure anyone will gladly drop their plans just to be with you."

"The one I'm asking right now doesn't have anything else planned, yet refuses me. Come on don't be like that Miss Ocean. We are friends, aren't we?"

"I don't know," Debbie said and took a sip of her drink while staring anywhere except in Lou's direction.

"What? You don't know if we're friends?"

"I don't know if it's a good idea for us to spend time together."

"What are you so afraid of Debbie?" Lou chuckled. "That I'm going to kiss you again?" She said in a teasing way. That made Debbie bite her lip. Lou absolutely does not stare at those lips.