Opposites (Shuri x reader)

Part 33

I banged my bedroom door a little too harshly feeling my body tremble, but honestly, I didn't even care. I went to my closet, took my suitcase out, and placed it on my bed before throwing every piece of clothes I could see as I felt my heart racing and my hands shaking. I shook my head as a mixed feeling between hurt and annoyance invaded my body, realizing I was only annoyed with myself for putting up with her shit for weeks.

My head turned as I saw the door open a little, I took a deep breath calming myself.

"Y/N?" I heard a soft whisper.

"What?" I asked finding Nakia standing against the doorframe with her arms crossed in front of her chest.

"Are you okay?" she had a sad smile on her lips making me bit my lip and force myself to control my breathing.

"Yup...I'm fantastic" I shrugged folding another sweatshirt and placing it in my bag.

"She's not doing it on purpose" she mumbled slowly walking towards me.

"I honestly...don't care" I sighed.

"May I?" she glanced at the bed as I nodded letting her sit "Shuri wasn't always like this...And I know it's no excuse"

"Oh it's definitely not..." I let out a laugh hearing her sigh "I know she's not her best self. I know all of that, but I'm tired...You know?" 

She nodded her head looking down as I closed my suitcase.

"How did you know?" I asked her calmly.

"Okoye... told me about her reaction to the arrival of the new American student..." she said pressing her lips together "And I know she would never treat Okoye like that...never in a million years".

"Okoye isn't the only one she's treating like that..." I said running my hand through my hair.

"I know, and I understand why you are leaving, but I just wanted you to know that she's not as bad as she makes it look" Nakia said as she got up and put her arms around me holding me tight before slowly walking away closing the door behind her.

I knew she wasn't. I knew I did my best to help her and give her the space she needed, but I also knew when to walk away. 

I walked towards my bathroom put all my things together and took one last look in the mirror as I heard my door closing again.

"What did you forget?" I smiled at myself making my way out of the bathroom to find Shuri standing still in front of my bed with her eyes on my bags. 

I felt my heart falling down to my stomach as I tried to understand what she was thinking, but all I could see was her arms fallen down next to her stomach, her lips closed tight and her jaw clenching.

"Shuri" I said clearing my throat.

"You're leaving" she whispered finally turning her head to me as I just nodded. "You are actually leaving" her hand raised up to her hair.

"I am" I mumbled noticing my legs were stuck.

We stood there for a couple of seconds, involved in the silence, as I began to feel my chest pacing with the anxiety growing up in me. 

"Shit" she finally let out turning in my direction "Shit" the words rumbled out of her lips as her eyebrows frowned a little showing a little bit of anger in her.

"I can't do this anymore" I sighed looking down.

"You can't..." she copied me slowly walking in my direction "Don't leave" her voice was raspy causing me to run out of air.

"No...It's too much..." I felt my eyes starting to get a little wet, and I definitely didn't want to cry in front of her, at least not at that moment. "I never know what to expect from you...I never know if you're mad, angry, kind, calm..." I said noticing her swallowing deeply "And I really did try my best..."

And in a second, Shuri wasn't Shuri anymore. I saw her eyes closing a little, as her lips curled downwards joined by her closed fists.

"Leave then" she spat "I don't need you. In fact, Jan is also leaving, she already had a jet waiting for her. Why don't you get a ride from her?" she tilted her head as my tears caved in rolling down my cheek. "I don't care."

"You're a fucking idiot" I whispered turning my back to grab my backpack.

"I knew I couldn't trust you" I said making me turn back to her filled up with anger.

"You couldn't trust me!?" I repeated it feeling my eyebrows raising a little "You know what Shuri..." I swallowed deeply before slowly walking over to her "I have loved you since the first time I laid my eyes on you, since the first day when you showed me your country with a proud smile on your lips. When I got taken, you were the only one I wanted to see, to come to get me. I tried my best to be understanding about you, about your actions, and the way you made me feel sometimes. I even tried to ignore the day you made me look fucking stupid in front of Riri's friends in Boston, I let that slide..." I could feel my voice trembling as the words come out of my mouth, and the tears were running down my cheeks as I used my wrist to wipe them off "I tried to convince myself that you actually cared about me, because of the way you would act when we where alone, and I swear there were times where I could see love and kindness in your eyes, but It was all bullshit".

"I ne.." she opened her mouth shrugging her nose.

"I'm talking" I interrupted her "I convinced myself that it was better to have all of that from you, than nothing at all, but I was wrong "I said as her eyes meet the floor before looking at me again "Waiting for you it's like knowing you're about to fall off a cliff and you know it's gonna fuck you up, you can feel it in your whole fucking body.... like you're freezing, and it's really terrible" I shook my head.

Shuri took one step in my direction putting her hands on my waist and pulling me closer to her, attaching her lips to mine, I could feel her nails digging into my skin, and her chest beating up and down against mine, but something in me made me push her away leaving her with a confused look on her face.

"Don't" I said "You don't get to do this. You don't get to fuck things up, embarrassing me and treating me like I'm your property, when in fact, I'm actually nothing to you!" My voice came out a little pitcher than I wanted, but I ignored it "So, yes I'm leaving and I really do hope to find something or someone that will make you better and make you heal, 'cause I've finally realized it's not me".

With that, I sighed quickly grabbing my suitcase and walking out of the door without looking back. Because I knew, If I did, I wouldn't be able to keep my decision.

"You told me you wouldn't leave" She yelled behind me as I kept walking away.