Opposites (Shuri x reader)

Part 34

I took one last look at my surroundings, feeling my teeth chewing on my inner lip, as I tried my best to hold back my tears knowing I wouldn't come back. 

"Y/N" I turned my head looking at Okoye walking quickly in my direction and standing still with a smile on her lips "It has been a pleasure" she nodded her head.

My arms pulled her closer to me, holding her tight as I used her shoulder to cry a little feeling her hands on my back before putting on my sunglasses again and walking inside the jet. I sighed as the door behind me closed, looking around and seeing Jan sitting by the window with a book in front of her. I slowly passed her, heading towards another seat.

I rested my chin on my hand as my eyes wandered around the view from the window watching Aneka waving me from behind the rest of the Dora's making me smile. 

"May I?" Jan sat in front of me crossing her legs as I looked at her without saying a word. "So...You're also leaving" she said leaning her head against the chair.

"I am" I mumbled still looking through the window.

"What about your research?" She asked as I felt a lump in my throat, realizing I hadn't even thought about it.

"I'll find something else..." I shrugged finally looking at her.

"You know..." she said leaning a little forward "If you want to... You can talk to me..." a smirk formed in her lips.

"Jan..." I sighed removing my sunglasses and making her raise her eyebrows a little "Look, you're really nice, and I really wanted to be your friend and help you out with your own research, but that's it. Friends. I think you know I'm interested in someone else".

"Well yeah..." she shrugged her shoulders still holding that smirk "But from what I'm seeing...you're here. Also leaving... and she's not"

I always had claimed my pride about not hurting anyone, and someone had asked me days before, I could have sworn that I would never do it, but, I only realized what I had done, when I felt my hand hit her face making her grab her seat with both of her hands.

"Hey" A Dora got in the middle pushing me by my shoulder "Stop it"

I sat back on my chair feeling my chest pacing ignoring the burn I felt on my knuckles and staring into Jan's eyes while she pulled her hair out of her face keeping the smirk on it.

"Fucking idiot" I mumbled.

"Let's go" The Dore ordered her pulling her by her arm and taking her to the furthest chair on the jet.

I pulled my knees up against my chest letting my head rest against the window trying to fight the urge to scream until my voice ran out. But I couldn't do it. So I put my headphones on, raising the volume up and closing my eyes praying to every God possible that the flight would be as fast as possible.

"Dad?" I whispered slowly closing the door behind me trying to be quiet.

It was already nighttime back at home when I arrived, and I knew my dad would probably be sleeping, so I gently went up to my room trying my best to be still. 

I put down my bags as my eyes wandered around the room I once felt it was mine, but it just felt empty. I quickly got some sweatpants on with a t-shirt and got inside the sheets burying my face on my pillows as the smell of my dad's perfume invaded my nose. He had been sleeping there. I smiled to myself feeling my chest getting a little heavier.

I felt safe here, so the second I let my body relax, the tears started to roll out, and I felt my whole body shivering as it finally striked me the fact that I had actually left Wakanda behind. And with Wakanda, Shuri. I felt my stomach twirl with the thought of her peacefully lying on her bed while I was feeling sick to my stomach and crying against my pillow. She had said it... She didn't need me and definitely didn't want me. And that was all that mattered. So, in every scenario I had ever made, I was going to let it go, and accept it was all delusional. But as I started to calm down, the images of her face as I told her I loved her popped up in my head making it all worse. It was like I was offending her...