Opposites (Shuri x reader)

Part 46

"I love this view so much" I sighed closing my eyes and taking the cold wind on my nose.

Shuri had asked me to show her around town, so I decided to take her to my thinking spot, a small and hidden cliff, that had a full view of the whole town. 

"This is where I used to come, right after my mom left..." I mumbled "I couldn't stand to watch my dad all alone in that house every day, missing her, and feeling guilty about her wanting to leave. So I found this place, and it was so silent, and quiet that made me feel small enough to feel like nothing had ever happened you know?"

She kept quiet as I felt her eyes on me the whole time making me turn to her.

"What?" I smiled at her.

"We need to talk..." she mumbled as I felt my stomach twirling a little as the words came out of her mouth.

"Shuri...c'mon" I sighed looking away again.

"You know we do" She repeated resting her hand on my leg "I need to go back to Wakanda eventually...And I would really like for you to come with me"

I closed my eyes, not saying a word, but the weight of her eyes on me, started to make me uncomfortable making me look at her.

"Do we really need to do this right now?" I frowned my eyebrows at her.

"Yes we do" she nodded her head "Come back with me" she leaned a little closer, grabbing my hand "Finish your research. You can't leave it unfinished"

"I can always start a new research" I smirked trying to lighten up the mood.

"Y/N c'mon" she sighed frowning her eyebrows a little "Can you please be serious for a minute?"

"Fine...I don't know Shuri..." I sighed "We're good now...Things are going just fine...What if I go back, and everything goes back to the way it was?"

"It won't" she shook her head.

"You can't know that for sure" I bit my lower lip.

"You're right...I can't. But I do know I want to be with you, and I want this to be good and right..." she gently smiled "Fuck...I met your dad, and he loves me" a smirk came out of her lips "I'm trying to show you that I love you in every way I can...But, I do need to go back to my country, I have responsibilities, and I really wish you could be there with me while I take on them"

"But.." I sighed again noticing her face tensing up a little.

"Fuck Y/N" she raised her voice a little "You know what? Jezz... I'm doing the best I can. I've shown you that I respect you, and I don't want to mess things up with us. I know I was an idiot, and I've apologized for it, but I guess it's not enough for you isn't it?" she spat getting up and leaving me sitting, looking up at her, my lower lip shaking a little, as I tried to hold back the tears "You made me feel like I was the one who would hurt you like I was the one who couldn't do this, but in the end, you're the one who is too afraid of whatever this is. You're so scared of me doing something bad to you, you won't even risk it." her voice started to decrease a little while her eyes started to get a little wet causing a hole in my stomach. "I guess I'm not worth the risk"

"Shuri" I tried to talk, but my voice vanished in a matter of seconds.

"I told you, I'm ready. I'm so ready for this..." she used her left arm to wipe her face "But I guess you're not." she shrugged her shoulder coldly "Just know, that I would never, ever hurt you in a million years Y/N."

"Can you stop!?" I raised my voice finally getting up and walking over to her "You're just being hurtful"

"No" she shook her head "I think it's time for you to understand you're the one who's hurting me... You should just try to admit it to yourself."

I kept quiet, feeling my body completely frozen at her words, my chest was burning painfully as I felt the tears finally rolling down my cheeks.

"You made me feel so guilty... All I ever wanted was for you to be safe, to be happy... Shit, I made my entire army go look for you as soon as you were taken, I couldn't sleep at all, I tried to be a better person..." she shook her head as I noticed a cold smile forming on her lips "Did you know I've never said I love you to anyone?! Not even my brother... The words always seemed too heavy to me..." I heard her voice crack a little as her breathing started to pace "But I said them to you... And you never said it back... I've told you I love you three fucking times..." she took a pause, blowing her frustration into the air as her eyes went up to the sky before looking at me again "So...I'm the one leaving now. I've got a country to take care of" she said turning around and quickly walking away "Say goodbye to your dad for me please" she whispered one last time.